Beauty in Vulnerability, by Alex

When I first signed up to serve as a YAV, I really felt that this would be an incredible opportunity for me to spend a year doing something completely different with my life. Now, my year is beginning to draw to a close, and I am realizing more and more that what I have been learning and doing this year is not simply a year-long project that I will look back on with fond memories, but rather a stepping stone to beginning the life I truly want to live. 

This year has been uncomfortable in many different ways. I moved into a house with five strangers (and four of them guys!) and was instructed to share my life with them. Together, the six of us share one car, about $80 a week for house groceries, living space and work together to run the community house where we live.  

I’ve had roommates before and I love them all deeply, but I have never been challenged to share my life so intimately with others. We all come from different backgrounds and have different perspectives on politics, budgets, eating habits, cleanliness, disciplining methods, communication, God… (just to name a few). We work high stress jobs and live on a shoestring budget; we’ve gotten to see each other at our bests and worsts. You can’t fake it all the time or hide from people you share so much with.  

I had never spent quite so much time with the same people… and it has been really hard for me. When the year started, I would daydream about having an apartment all to myself when the year ended. I’m not exactly sure when the change occurred, but my perspective has shifted. The house feels oddly empty when no one else is home. The house can even seem quiet with all six of us without the two or three house guests who always seem to be around. 

I’ve also had incredible opportunities to build deep relationships with people outside of my house in LA, most notably the women in my small group Bible study. Each week the women pray for one another. We don’t just pray surface level prayers and joys, but we have begun to open up to each other about our fears, doubts, pains and mistakes. We lift one another up, text and e-mail updates, meet for coffee and fellowship. We have come to share one another’s burdens. I have never been involved in a Bible study group so intentional. Sometimes though, it’s really hard and uncomfortable. You open up and later wish you hadn’t. You wish you could have just held everything in… been composed. Yet, I really don’t think that is a true model of life. Life is messy. We all fall apart from time to time. To deny doubt and pain is putting on a front or showing others a lie. Sometimes opening up can help others feel better about their own pain.No one wants to be the only one suffering in a room full of people with perfect lives. And no one ever is.

This past weekend we had an incredible opportunity to help friends prepare for a major life change. They asked us to come over to their home and help them prepare to move. It was such a beautiful day for me. It was the first time I had been in their house when it wasn’t spotless and everyone perfectly composed. There were some dishes in the sink and toys on the floor. They were stressed, tired, and on one another’s nerves. They may not have wanted us to see them in the state, but I felt incredibly blessed to be there. I love that they felt comfortable enough and trusted us enough to share their stress with us. I don’t feel that Christianity means not having drama, pain or conflict, but rather Christianity is demonstrated in the way we respond to these universally experienced emotions.  

Everyone has pain and struggles. Everyone makes mistakes. Everyone has quirks. The beauty is in sharing them with others and building relationships. We are not called to walk alone but to share our lives with one another. I am blessed to have had this year to begin to learn how to truly open up my life and love others. Now, I need to take what I am beginning to learn and step forward to create a community of love, openness and vulnerability, wherever I go next.

Summer 2011

Crystal

Edzel

 Summer 2011 is upon us.  God has delivered DOOR Hollywood an exciting Discern team, with young people who have grown up in, or near, Hollywood Presbyterian Church.  These young people, Crystal, Erin, Edzel, Isaac, Kyle, & Sean, have missions experience ranging from YoungLife, Bible camp leadership, and short term work worldwide.

Sean

Kyle

Please lift these six young people up in your prayers, as well as the hundreds of traveling Discover mission groups coming to serve and witness God here in Los Angeles.  We pray for them all, as well as those who have been impacted by the recent disastrous weather, and need to change their plans and missions.  May God meet and work through all of this and all of us, and may we be blessed by the relationships we build here in Hollywood this summer.  To keep up with the program this summer, "Like" our facebook page here: Discover Hollywood!

Erin

Isaac

See the marvels of God!  He plants flowers and trees all over the earth, bans war from pole to pole, breaks all the weapons across his knee. "Step out of the traffic! Take a long, loving look at me, your High God, above politics, above everything." - Psalm 46: 8-10, The Message

Sifting, by Alex

Last weekend my housemates and I went on a trip to Tucson, AZ for a long weekend. We travelled down with an organization called Borderlinks to learn about and witness firsthand the issue of illegal immigration. Before the trip, I thought that it would be the perfect opportunity to learn about border issues and to decide where I stand on the issue.


We were asked to blog and share about our experience. Before the trip, I thought this would be an easy task. How silly of me. Unfortunately, things are never black and white. Because of that, this blog may seem a bit like an excerpt from a James Joyce novel, with no clear direction or focus. I saw and heard so much over the course of the weekend that it will take me a long time to process and further research. My heart and brain are both muddled messes right now. I cannot at this point say where I stand on the issue, but I invite you to join my internal conflict.

Imagine with me for a minute: Travelling by foot through desert into a new land. To a country with a language you don’t speak or understand. Leaving family, friends, customs, comfort and security behind. You may not even really like the country you are going to. You simply know that you have a better chance of being able to support your family in this new foreign place. You barely have enough to feed your children each day, let alone pay for an emergency doctor visit or prescription.



Now, imagine a second scenario: You are a recently laid off father of four (living in the States your whole life). You aren’t necessarily a “skilled worker” and now you can’t find a job paying more than $9.00 an hour because there are plenty of individuals in your city more than willing to work for this rate. You have a mortgage, car payments, a credit card and really hope to send your kids to college.

How do I look at this issue with the eyes of Christ? He says to love my neighbor. Which ones? It seems to me what may help one neighbor here may hurt another. Or is this stupid worthless worry?

Do I show my love to my neighbor by taking down all fences and walls? But aren’t boundaries and fences sometimes good and necessary? (Think of fences around swimming pools that keep kids from drowning.)  Am I to give amnesty to all people living in the country without papers? What about my brothers and sisters who have been waiting for 14+ years to enter my country legally? How much will that delay their entry?

If I don’t know where I stand, how do I get involved? Am I called to be involved? How many issues can I be involved in at one time and earnestly care?  I don’t know.  I don’t have an answer, and I’m not sure I will for a long time (if ever).

In the meantime, I know that it is my job to help those in need. To give a brother or sister their daily food if they are in need. To walk alongside. To love. But above all this, to continue seeking Christ first.

Lord, give me your eyes for the world. Help me see where you want me to serve and help me to always see my neighbors in need.

The Illusive American Dream, by Alayna

Why do we chase after the “American Dream?”  

My housemates and I spent a weekend in Tucson last month learning about immigration and border issues [with the Borderlinks program]. At a house for immigrants on the Mexican border, I had dinner with a man who had lived in the States for several years before being deported. He was a young, single man with no children. Friendly and well-spoken, he was open to answering any questions we had. He spoke of returning to live in the US, and I saw dollar signs dancing through his dreams; he talked about his desire to have a nice house, two cars, and money to spare.

This is a common dream–and not just among Mexican and Central American immigrants. American citizens have the same dream. A spacious house with a white picket fence, a couple nice cars in a large garage, a big-screen TV in the family room, the newest technology–that’s America.

But why?

We hear all sorts of stories about how money makes people miserable, how lottery winners’ lives fall apart after they collect, how the rich old man dies alone. Some of the happiest people I’ve seen are those whose lives aren’t cluttered by material possessions. I’ve heard friends talk about how much happier kids that they met at a Haitian orphanage are–laughing, content to play outside and use their imaginations rather than argue over the latest video game. You hear stories from Africa about people sharing their limited food or possessions with whoever they can and finding joy in the process. Please don’t mistake me to be lauding poverty or starvation; I mean simply to draw attention to the fact that the greatest joys often seem to be found in the lives of those who do not “have it all.”

When we’re chasing after The Dream, what we have never seems to be enough.There’s always another promotion, a newer phone/car/computer, a bigger house. It creates a culture of greed and dissatisfaction.

So why do we chase it? Why do immigrants risk their lives to achieve it? Is my understanding of the allure limited because I don’t know what it’s like to truly be in want? Can we really biblically justify the co-existence of the American Dream and the Christian lifestyle?

Opening DOORs Celebration and Silent Auction, Friday May 13th

We cordially invite you to learn about the exciting ways God is moving here in Hollywood, through the hearts of our neighbors, our Dwellers, and our many local agency partners. Admission free, handmade tamales from the Gregory Avenue neighborhood. 

We will conduct a community building silent auction, with "items" like:
- a private BBQ for 6 with Pastor Dan and Anne Baumgartner
- VIP tickets and tours of local TV sets like NBC's hit, "Community"
- a private Bible Study session with Dale Bruner
- tamale-making lesson at Mama's Hot Tamales downtown
- CEO tours of many local social service agencies
- original artwork from our church and local community
- music lessons, free massages, and more!

Our goal is to raise $10,000 to fund a "Neighborhood Ministry Coordinator" position for a new Dweller, in the spirit of the former Hollywood Urban Project.

Please call Matthew at 323-872-3174 with any questions, or click HERE TO RSVP

Everybody Dies, but Not Everyone Lives, by Josh

Since I came to Los Angeles I have spent a lot of time on the weekends playing Ultimate Frisbee in a park high up on a mountain under the famous Hollywood Sign. This has been a great catharsis for me to release all of my energy and work out any anger I have from the previous week. Through this activity I have also gained a lot of good friends, many of who I hang out with even off of the field. Some have even asked to come to church with me. I have also had the pleasure to have several of my roommates and old friends come to play with us. 


[A few weeks ago], I went to the field expecting the usual Saturday game. Upon arriving, I was informed that one of our friends had passed away. This information really blew me away. Our friend Tom was only 24 years old. I found out that cancer was discovered in his body less than a month ago, and now he is dead. I realize that people all over the world die every day from many different causes, but it still makes you stop to contemplate life when it happens to someone you know. A lady from First Pres. Church of Hollywood died this week in a house fire. You never really know when it could happen to you. 

Think about what you did last year, last week, yesterday, this morning. Would you change what you did if you knew that it was your last day on this earthly plane?  This reminds me of some song lyrics that I wrote last year:

If you were given a warning 

that you’ll die in the morning,

what would you do with tonight?

Would you throw a big bash?

Would you blow all your cash?

Would you try to set things right?

If you were told by a friend

That tomorrow’s the end

What would you do with today?

Would you release all your fears

After all of these years,

Or would you simply run away?

If you are not happy with your day to day life, change what you are doing. Pretend that you knew that you would die tomorrow.  How would you spend your last day? Would you want to talk with your family or friends? Would you rather spend your last living hours watching television? What is the point of not enjoying life? Many people say that they are not happy with what they are doing, but that it will all be worth it for the payoff in the end. Do the ends justify the means? Sure, you can plan for the future, but at what date in the future does the happiness begin? Lately, there have been many billboards put up around Los Angeles that proclaim that May 21, 2011 is the end of the world. This may or may not be true. I personally don’t believe it to be true, but it could be the last day for any of us. We might as well live as if it is. 

I’ll finish this blog with the story of Tom’s memorial.   A few of Tom’s closest friends organized an ultimate Frisbee extravaganza memorial. After church I got a ride to the North Hollywood Park to find games in full swing. Tom’s friends were grilling, having some drinks, laughing, and making new friends. It was estimated that over 70 people showed up throughout the day,and this wasn’t even planned until [a few days before]. It was a great day of enjoying life.  They had a box of some of Tom’s things, like dvds, books, and posters, that they wanted people to go through and take, to enjoy and think of Tom while they do. Overall it was just a great celebration of his life. I’m sure Tom would have had an incredible time if he were there. At the end of the night somebody said that we should have gatherings like this more often. I thought that the comment was very true. It shouldn’t take somebody dying, for the rest of us to really live.

An Idea

You pass it off as a small thing, but it's anything but that. 

Yeast, too, is a "small thing," but it works its way 

through a whole batch of bread dough pretty fast. 

So get rid of this "yeast." - 1 Corinthians 5:6, The Message

Last Wednesday, two speakers from Homeboy Industries visited La Casa de la Comunidad.  These men shared their lives, both past and present, and how the compassion of Homeboy helped them to step away from the patterns of gang life in East Los Angeles.  At one point in the presentation, a very poignant line from Father Gregory Boyle's book, Tattoos on the Heart, was referenced: 

New Friends from Homeboy Industries meet our neighborhood.

"The wrong idea has taken root in the world. And the idea is this: there just might be lives out there that matter less than other lives."  


Indeed.  It's not only taken root, it's produced poisonous fruit.  It's infested our daily bread.  This idea allows us to walk around dirty homeless folks sleeping outside a 7-eleven with no more than a "what-a-lazy-wretch" sneer across our face.  This idea is the seed of the notion, "this side of the tracks, that side of the tracks."  This is the idea that allows slavery, inhumane treatment of prisoners, allows us to look at people as problems, issues, statistics in a world population explosion, and not, as we all were intended to be seen: as the image of God.

One of the Homeboys spoke quite eloquently about the internal damage an idea like this causes.  He said that he had no problem with people calling him a monster, a f*!&-up, a no-good menace to society.  He believed himself to be all those things.  But call him worthy of kindness, call him useful and helpful, call him beautiful even, well, his entire body rejected it, like an allergic reaction.  He said, at first, he would become so angry with a compliment that he would retaliate and work to regain the more comfortable status of being a "low-life."    The idea manifested in our sense of self, maintaining the lie that we can lose God's affection and can't hope of winning it back.  Or, more to the truth, can't believe that we never lost it in the first place.

Dwellers, Neighbors, and friends from Oasis came out.

What if being a "Christian" was, at the very core, simply about waging war with this idea?   I looked around that evening at all the faces listening, together, in kinship.  From different backgrounds, sure, but a gathering of people responding to the gritty truth of God's desire for restoration, as poured through these two former gang members.

I've been following the blog of an incoming Dweller, Ben Adam, who will arrive this fall.  This quote is part of a larger work of his on the politics of the Resurrection, but I found myself feeling the resonance of it during the Homeboys' talk: "The Jesus movement, unlike Marxism or the Cuban Revolution, did not seek to make a poor person into a rich monarch. It was a movement that believed G-d was bringing down the powerful and raising up the powerless so that they could meet in the middle as equals."  Meeting in the middle.  It's the heart of what we're attempting here in Hollywood.   God-willing, bridges of understanding, equality, and a kinship that only God could create, can continue to be built and nurtured.

I turned and looked at our current Dwellers.  I thought about some of the ideas they are starting to share, starting to blog about.  I'll leave you to ponder them, and I pray you are blessed in the thinking:

"God has called us to be present: to love His people as much as we possibly can, despite who they are or where they come from." - Alex

"I think that we all feel deficient, not just when standing in front of God but in many of our relationships, and that we all spend far too much time working to hide these deficiencies instead of handing them completely over to the One." - Robert

"Whether or not he stays does not detract from the fact that we cared enough to keep visiting him, find him help when he asked, and will continue to work with him, no matter the outcome of rehab.  He knows we care about him." - Alayna

"I started thinking about how many people are truly involved in this process of volunteerism.  This is not a one-man show.  If I had to list everyone involved in the process, I know that it would take up pages in very small font."  - Josh

"It's also hard for me to see what good a system is if it can only help some, but not all.  I even get angry that people have to be homeless or that there's such a thing as homelessness." - Brady

"Help [homeless people] feel not invisible as they have been walked [over] by so many people ignoring them.  We are all the same in Christ." - Kyle

May God meet you in your middle today.  Thanks for reading.  - Matthew

"He knocked tyrants off their high horses, pulled victims out of the mud."
- Luke 1:52, The Message