This weekend five of us from Hollywood attended a conference in Seattle called Volunteers Exploring Vocation. While it a was a short retreat, the time was spent doing some serious reflection and discussion on what vocation means and how to discern vocation. Before the conference, I simply associated the word vocation with a career path. I expected to attend this conference and learn about different ministerial and social justice vocations. Instead, we discussed vocation in a way that I never considered. Vocation is more than just a career; it’s your lifestyle. Throughout the weekend, the definition of vocation revolved around this central theme: where your greatest desire and the world’s great need meet.
When I moved to Hollywood, one of my main goals was to find purpose. I thought if I moved away from home to do a year of service, God would illuminate the neon sign pointing directly to my “calling.” Honestly, I wanted to take the easy route…you know, let God make the decision of what I should do with my life, and then, I would just do it. I mean that is what we all think, right? God gives a calling. He grants us gifts and talents, which determine the path we should take. But, what if adherence to that mindset is just laziness? What if God’s call is for us to just do what we choose to do and do it with purpose?
Jenn and I at the original Starbucks!
I have decided for my life that purpose is not given to me. Purpose is a reflection of the praise and servitude that comes from being a follower of Christ and by doing what I am most passionate about.
While I’d like to say that the conference on vocational exploration concluded with that neon sign or an enlightened answer as to what I’m suppose to do with my life or what my life purpose is, I can only say that it reaffirmed this idea that I live in a constant state of discernment. It’s a lifetime journey that should NEVER have a conclusion.
This weekend, I began to truly reflect on what my vocation looks like at this moment. During my time in Hollywood, I am facing a lot of challenges. My job as the Neighborhood Partnership Coordinator asks me to step out into a very uncomfortable place that forces me to evaluate my own identity and awareness of intercultural competency. My intentional community asks me to be vulnerable and sensitive in ways that reveal my deepest flaws and my selfish demons. My city asks me to see the face of God in the not so glamorous and not so rich Hollywood that gets portrayed on television. All of these features collectively make this journey a place of discernment. In this place, I am forced to question, reflect, and discuss who it is that I am and who it is that I want to be.
Pike Place Fish Market
More than just the recognition of my present circumstances and the impact they have on discerning my vocation, VEV and the fellow volunteers that I met in Seattle helped me realize that this is not a journey I am willing to cease after one year of service. I want more, I need more, and God deserves more. If I am in search of an authentic relationship with God, then I must be willing to continue my devotion to seeking vocational discernment for the rest of my life.
Now, am I clear on what my deepest desire is? No. Am I clear on what the world’s greatest need is? No.
What I am clear on is my need to seek the answers to those questions whole-heartedly without ceasing.
Whether I become a teacher, stay a social worker, or join a circus, my hope is that it will be done with purpose.
Just a side note: Pretty sure I fell in love with Seattle! Must get back there soon!
