Turning the Other Cheek: An Exercise in Fear and Joy

"But I tell you who hear me: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. If someone strikes you on one cheek, turn to him the other also. If someone takes your cloak, do not stop him from taking your tunic. Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back. Do to others as you would have them do to you." - Luke 6:27-31, NIV

So, I tell you the truth: this verse has always irked me, troubled me, bothered me, even angered me. I get it, it sounds nice, but is it really true? Is it, at all, based in reality? I remember middle school, where the kid who had been taunting me and my 8th grade friendlessness, said that all the other kids avoided me because they thought I was gay. Adding injury to insult, he attacked me one morning at my locker, shoving me from behind so my head hit the edge of the metal. I thought, "don't fight back, turn the other cheek." That ended miserably, as he continued to pummel me to the ground, and the other kids looked on. If this is what you mean, God, I thought, no thank you.

And recently, after reading Shane Claiborne's Irresistible Revolution with our Dwellers, I've picked up his second book, Jesus For President. Again, I tell you the truth: I am not enjoying this book. I am finding myself too rocked by what he says, agreeing with so much. But in my agreement, I am feeling alone and paralyzed by not knowing how to act accordingly. However, he brings up a different perspective on "turning the other cheek" than I had ever heard in Catechism or Sunday School. Basically, turning the other cheek forces the perpetrator to recognize that you are a human being. "By turning the other cheek, the person made the abuser look them in the eye, and the other person said, 'I am a human being, made in the image of God, and you cannot destroy that.' Do not cower and do not punch back. Make sure the person looks into your eyes and sees your sacred humanity, and it will become increasingly harder for that person to hurt you." (Jesus For President, Claiborne, pgs 92-93.)

Last night, I learned this to be true, and even more glorious and miraculous than Claiborne suggests.

I leave my work volunteering with the Dwellers' afternoon neighborhood tutoring program and make it home around 9:30pm, almost. It's dark. I had just gotten off the phone with my wife and had had a small argument about our 5-month-old daughter. I am flustered, but eager to get inside. As I pull into the shared driveway of our townhome complex, I see a young couple standing at the threshold of the sidewalk, street, and driveway. They have a baby stroller with them, God would make sure I notice.

I pull into our garage, and as I step out of the car, can hear them screaming at one another: "Fine! Go off with your hommes, your cars, play your stupid games! See what I care!" I walk around to where I can see them, feeling an urge to show love and see if they are okay. I notice the man respond to another neighbor, presumably shouting down at him, by angrily answering back, "Shut the (expletives removed and softened throughout this re-telling) up, or I'm going to come up there and mess you up!"

And then, he notices me. Without taking a breath, he starts running towards me, shouting, "you want to mess with me! You don't know me!" Running directly at me, fast. Then, I see him slam his hand into his coat and pull something out, something that catches the light and shines. Without thought, I turn and start running to my still-open garage. I just panic and flee. Before I can make it to the button to shut the door, he is inside the garage with me, already, and raging.

"I should (f) you up! I'm from the barrio! I should take you out right now!"

"Look," I plead, "I just wanted to see if you two were okay. I meant you no harm."

He looks like he might smash in the window of my car. Looking me straight in the eyes with fire, he takes a breath, and he backs off a bit. He's not listening to anything I say, and interrupts me, looking around, "what unit is this?" He finds our unit number on the edge of the door. "I'm gonna come back. I know where you live. You shouldn't have messed with me."

I'm able to shut the garage door, now, so I do. My heart beating in every joint, even my nostrils, painfully. But as the door is closing, God grants me the ability to notice two things: there is a clear look of fear and shame in his face. And what I had thought to be a gun, I see now, is actually something like a crumpled-up soda can.

I walk upstairs. My wife has heard the commotion, our baby is upstairs sleeping. She is obviously concerned. We wonder if we should call the police, to which I decide would a bad idea because he'll know it was me, and he knows where we live.

But then, something calming comes over me. I recognize that I will not be able to rest peacefully in fear of what he may or may not do. I keep seeing his face, his rage, his anger, and maybe, just maybe, even a hint of his pain. I suddenly become resolved that I must go out and face him again. Should I take anything to defend myself? No, something tells me, that could look threatening and cause a backfire. My wife is, again, obviously concerned, but allows me to go. In a very tangible way, I think I feel God urging me on. Maybe it's connected to my need to protect our family, our daughter, I don't know. I just know I have no choice but to go back outside and find him.

And here is the space for miracle. Here is the truth of God's word in action, in stark reality. Here is Jesus backing up what he preached so fervently on the Mount:

As I walk towards the couple, the man notices me again, and his entire body language slowly starts to shrink. He turns and crumples. I feel God pushing me forward, strengthening my every step. Before I can even say a word, he says, "man, I'm really sorry. I am really, really sorry." And then, he reaches out to shake my hand.

I learn they have a 2-month-old. I tell them I have a 5-month-old. I ask if I can pray for him. He says, "just pray that it'll all work out." I say I will. The woman is clearly ashamed and won't look at me, so I decide not to ask to see the baby. I do ask them if they live nearby. He says he actually lives in these townhomes too, he just moved in.

I say goodnight. I thank God. I weep gently and quietly as I walk away. I hear the echo of the end of these verses: Do to others as you would have them do to you. I sincerely feel that if my wife and I were arguing like that, I would long for someone to step in with love and compassion. (In fact, I confess that we've had fights recently, and I truly wish someone would have done just that!) I pray and suddenly notice, finally, that I understand why Jesus asks us to turn the other cheek. I had been praying for this to make sense to me for quite some time, and though I never would've asked for it to come in just this way, I understand why it did. I went out to show him that he had just messed with a real-live human being, and to ask him to drop his threats. It never even came to that, because just "turning" to face him again gave him the opportunity to act like a human being as well. Building on what Claiborne says, exposing our humanity, in faith, can make it possible for others to do so as well.

People ask me all the time if it's safe to come to Hollywood. I wonder what they are looking for me to say. I have family who live in Littleton, Colorado; cousins who attended Columbine High School. By the looks of it, I'd guess that Littleton would appear to be "safe." The neighborhood our Dwellers live in is decorated in ample tagging, some of it even on their house. By the looks of it, I'd guess people might see this neighborhood as "less safe." But, my answer, now, is that this world is a dangerous and broken place. Period. Desperation leads to desperate and risky acts. Loneliness and feeling alone cause us to do some crazy things for attention. I believe that can happen anywhere. Even in my very garage last night.

So should we focus on being safe? Should we focus on being preemptive or retaliatory? Or, and by that I mean a hefty or, should we focus on being bold in love, and trust our safety to a God who promises to save us, a God who already has? I'm not sharing this story to promote myself as a hero in any way. In fact, much the opposite, as I felt like the biggest coward running away from a man armed with a Coke can and his own embarrassment. Nor would I advocate walking into a potential hornet's nest just because you should be bold for boldness' sake alone. But I can say this: if the feeling of God's protection is strong inside you in a given situation, and the feeling of God's urging you to enter the conflict exists, go forth. Go forth in faith. For I truly share this to celebrate that God's word is indeed good, and true, and inspiring, and emboldening. It was not my strength last night. It was the strength of the one who has saved me and aches for me to trust in that. Even died for me to trust in that. God has got your back. God will have your back.

I pray for that young family. I pray that they do not succumb to the anxiety and stress involved in young parenthood, but rather, find ways to come together despite it. If it be God's will, I pray to cross paths with them soon again. I'd like to know them.

How to end this blog, other than by continuing in the path of working to build community, instead of divide it, with our every act. The Dwellers relaunched the neighborhood garden last Sunday. Despite rain and thunder the group that had gathered transformed the space. So I will close this blog with photos of that work day to metaphorically remind us, well, mostly myself, of the lovely lesson that even under the darkest and loudest storm clouds, our God provides, our God encourages, and our God wants us to grow, together.

May Christ be with you in every way,

Matthew

to learn more about getting involved, click on any photo below:

Emotional Kaleidoscope, by Wendy

This week's blog entry comes from Dweller Wendy, (pictured below on the left, with City Director Matthew and fellow Dweller Kenna), who's complete blog can be found athttp://roadsidetamales.blogspot.com/

I have a definite case of the warm and fuzzies and yet all I want to do at the moment is curl up and cry. I am overjoyed and overwhelmed and so confused by the sudden and intense alternating highs and lows here.

The week is over, the weekend has arrived, and as I suddently have the time to stop about what has happened in the past two weeks (last weekend I didn't have a chance to stop and breathe) all the emotions are crashing upon me simultaneously.

First and foremost, our house has felt the pain of another family loss. Kenna is back in Arizona for over a week and we have all felt the grief and the love that spills from her heart this week.

We have come together in prayer as a household to lift her up and her family - which is a joy because in the midst of this tragedy, our house feels more like a home than it has so far . . . I don't know how I feel in the midst of all of it. I am dismayed by the intensity of my own sense of loss.

This past weekend we went as a house to a seminar as a house, one on the Song of Solomon. Granted, none of us are getting ready to enter into a marital relationship, but this was another chance for us to all worship together, of which we have taken very few. This also was a joy, and we spent the day with Matthew and Darcie and Charlotte as well - it was so incredible to hear their take as well!

On outreach on Wednesday we dealt with one of our problem clients - I say problem client not because he is so bad in himself, but when we first brought him in there was some miscommunication and he did not have a TB test. Before we even got a chance to get it taken care of, he ended up back in Cedars Sinai hospital. On Monday he was discharged, but the bed that we had for him was no longer available - and nobody was working because it was President's Day . . . so we had to tell him that we couldn't still take him in.

This Wednesday I played cello in the Ash Wednesday service - which came off quite nicely, but required a good amount of preparation . . .

. . . and on Wednesday I left work at 9am to spend the day with Kenna up until her flight home. The service was quite emotional for me.

Afterward I recorded some things (don't tell Dad (: It's a surprise . . . actually I think I told him last night).

Thursday . . . was a long day. And then came today. Today we did data entry at the office until around 2pm and then took one of our clients who finally moving into his own home grocery shopping and then to his apartment. The furniture is set up already and he has all of his linens and his pots and pans . . . I am soo soo happy to see this finally happening. It has been almost 5 months since he finally agreed to come into shelter. It has been over a year since he began the process of getting a section 8 apartment. This is his first home as I understand it in 13 years. He is 68 and in so many ways reminds me of my own dad. It will be weird not seeing him around the shelter. My only hope is that he finds a way and a reason to stay active.

And then when we got back to the shelter, there were the girl scout cookies that I ordered *finally*

I am just so tired after all of it. I don't really want to take a nap, but I don't particularly want to stay up either.

My time here has been amazing beyond all of my expectations and I have no doubt that it will take me years to understand all of the things that I have seen here so far. As I was riding my bike home tonight, I couldn't help but think back to the first Tuesday here, I think it was our second day overall? When the tamale man raised his voice in our alleyway, that is when I realized that this place really was different from Kansas.

On the way home there is always a fruit vendor with mangoes and strawberries on the street corner by a couple of schools and along the streets there is always someone selling chips and ice cream from a push cart and in the large white box trucks that seem to live in our neighborhood there is always fresh produce.

Sometimes I forget that this place isn't the one that I grew up in. It is so easy to become accustomed to the sights and sounds around us and almost become comfortable. This week there have been reminders of the discomforts in this neighborhood as well. I have about three posts worth of things in my mind that could use sharing.

Truly this neighborhood is ministering to us as much as we are to it, if not infinitely more. I have so much to learn here, if I remember half of it, it will all have been worth it.

My Heart to be Broken Again - by Curtis

But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.- 2 Corinthians 12:9, NIV

As I am nearing the halfway mark in my year of service in Hollywood I have decided to take a little different approach in writing this blog than the past entries I have written. In the past month I have lost my grandfather "Papa", been struggling with the current state of Haitian friends, dealt with and improved issues that my housemates and I have faced, and been sick with my Crohn's. I hadn't sat down to process much of what has been happening until my roommate Will asked me how I was doing spiritually the other night. I realized that I have been just going through the motions and have almost gotten used to some of the things that my heart used to break for and brought me here to serve in the first place. I had not spent the time in prayer and silence like I had in the beginning to process the things that I witness every day. And because of my lack of time alone with God I had almost become numb to the pain and problems that face the people I work with and am in community with. I am asking for prayer for my heart to be broken again. I had started to view what I am doing as my job and that caused me to treat it like any other job I don’t necessarily love. But my hope for the second half of this year is that I may have a servant’s heart once more. What is the truth that I preach in words and actions without tears, and what are the tears without the truth? I am excited about what God has in store for my next 6 months.

When life knocks you on your knees, you’re in the perfect position to pray!

Extravagant Love

“And I ask him that with both feet planted firmly on love, you’ll be able to take in with all followers of Jesus the extravagant dimension’s of Christ’s Love. Reach out and experience the breadth! Test its length! Plumb the depths! Rise to the heights! Live full lives, full in the fullness of God.” – Ephesians 3:19

(Wendy, Will, Kenna, and Alex with members of Hollywood Presbyterian Church at Forest Home)

It’s not necessarily red and heart-shaped. It’s not chocolate flavored or rose scented. In fact, this love can be downright messy. It can sometimes smell like picked-up garbage; sometimes feel like blistered hands on a hot shovel; sometimes taste like overflowing tears. But immersing yourself in the love of Christ and connecting to others in his name does indeed bring joy.

(Discover Participant and Dweller, Mary, helping to sort donations at a homeless shelter.)

It’s the joy of smelling fresh grass during the prayer before the soccer game. It’s the smiles of the residents at the shelter once you’ve helped to reorganize and clean all the donations with them. It’s the warmth of the fire standing amongst friends even after taking a moment to remember those who have recently died. It’s spending a year living in intentional community with people we don’t know (and don’t always like), but trusting in God’s purpose all along the way.

We invite you to come to Hollywood for a year or a week, and witness the incredible dimension’s of Christ’s love here in our city. It runs deeper than the Pacific Ocean, longer than the beaches in Malibu, higher than the Hollywood sign. And yet, it’s as close as an encouraging conversation, right when you need it.

God’s blessings to you all!

Matthew

(The neighborhood young adult and teenage Bible-Study soccer team before a game.)

Dwellers 2008-2009: Steph, Mary, Alison, and Sara with Matthew

(Dwellers 2007-2008: Stephanie, Jen, Shelton, and Kristina)

Bit by Bit, by Alex

January and February, for the Dwellers as well as for most people in general, can tend to feel a bit fragmented. Nonetheless, we still press on, as Alex's recent update illustrates. Please keep praying for the Hollywood Dwell unit amidst this walk! (And be sure to check out the link to an amazingly powerful slideshow about PATH, where Alex works.)

Hi Everyone,

I apologize for my lack of updates recently. Everything, for the most part, is going well with me in Hollywood. Below is a bit by bit update on the main aspects of my year.

-- I have found a wonderful church to be involved with while I'm here in LA, called Silverlake Community Church. The pastor is a fellow graduate of Trinity University! The church is small and quite diverse. I am involved by singing in the choir (haven't performed yet!) and participating in a weekly devotion/fellowship/dinner group that is composed of young adults that take turns sharing a meal and discussion in people's homes.

-- Our intentional community composed of my fellow YAVs and myself has had a few issues and rifts over the past few weeks or so, but we are working through them. This is perfectly normal and to be expected when five complete strangers commit to living together for a year, no matter if they all happen to be Christians.

-- Our neighborhood ministry, the afterschool care and tutoring, is still up and running three days a week. We are getting to know the kids and their families better, and the kids are always knocking on our door even up to an hour before we officially "open" because we're eager to hang out. We've also had the privilege of having dinner with a couple of the families who live in our neighborhood in order to know them better.

-- We also host a weekly bible study group in the community house for teenagers that is led by a local Pentecostal church. This study is growing fast and has more than 30 kids that come sometimes. Many of the kids who live in the neighborhood attend, including two young men who had sunk deep into drug use and spent a lot of time of jail before becoming Christians a couple years ago. They now spend much of their free time telling their friends about Jesus.

-- I am still loving my job at PATH (People Assisting The Homeless). It's probably my favorite part of being here. I have amazing coworkers and love having the opportunity to help people get off the streets and into housing. Today one of my coworkers and I went furniture shopping with a shelter/outreach client who will be moving into his very own apartment later this week after living in our shelter for 5 months and on the streets for several years prior to that. He is very excited, but also scared about the prospect of living independently by himself. Please keep him in your prayers.

You can read a great LA times article and see an "audio slideshow" about my job here. The speaker in the video is one of my supervisors. She leads the PATH outreach team that works at night (from 4pm to midnight) while my other supervisor leads the daytime (7:30am - 4pm) outreach team, of which I'm a part.

Finally, I have (UNOFFICIALLY) met my fundraising goal for this year!!! Thanks to all who contributed!

-Alex

Remembering that Death is Conquered

"I will ransom them from the power of the grave; I will redeem them from death: O death, I will be thy plagues; O grave, I will be thy destruction." - Hosea 13:14 (King James Version)

Call it "winter blahs." Call it "The Januaries." The afterglow of the holiday season seems to always be a time of heaviness, a time of reckoning. This year, in particular, our Dwellers have had to deal with deep personal loss in a concentrated way. Between November and now, we've suffered the passing of three grandparents, and have been praying for the health of many other friends and family members. It is always hard to balance what we believe, that Jesus has conquered death, and what we feel: Sadness, emptiness, maybe even some regrets.

This week, the Dwellers and I traveled north to Valyermo and visited St. Andrew's Abbey, a Benedictine monastery up in the mountains. This is becoming tradition, as it serves as the perfect backdrop to a solitude retreat, one where we practiced silence in prayerful hope that we might find better reception for the voice of God, putting Psalm 46:10 into practice ("Be still, and know that I am God.") We were directed to visit the cemetery, which made sense on several levels. The austere desert mountain bleakness echoed with what many of us are feeling. In the dimness of January, it would seem like there exists a small death of fervor for the mission. Joy seems to be taking a nap.

Which, I'm reminded, is okay. I found myself contemplating the Saturday (or whatever day it actually was) that Jesus was neither dying nor reborn, between the cross and the rising. What a dark day that must have been. I can hardly imagine. But it turns out alright, gloriously better than ever expected. Jesus rises, having conquered death and re-establishing true hope for humanity, now and forever.

So, we take heart. In our grieving over loved ones who've passed, we look to the empty tomb. In the funk we find ourselves in this month, we can look to the energetic and passionate letters of Paul. We have so much work ahead of us within this mission, in this neighborhood, and with each other, and find ourselves overwhelmed. But we take heart, ask for prayer over the coming months, over the health of the garden, over the health of the little community and the heart it brings to the neighbors. And we settle back down in the hope that Jesus will encourage us, will strengthen us, will support us.

He has and He is and He will.

To all the groups and folks that will visit us this year, we pray that the amazing work of God, the powerful love of Christ, the energetic passion of the Holy Spirit will be revealed in surprising and purposeful ways to you.

Blessings abound, even in this desert.

Matthew

Alex, Kenna, Wendy, and Will with kindhearted Brother Cassian.

Holidays, by Curtis

Our neighborhood ministry has been something that I have really enjoyed being a part of and watching evolve. Thanksgiving was a great time. Some families and kids from the neighborhood came by to spend some of their day with us and eat a really good meal. The bible study on Wednesday nights has continued to go well and I have really enjoyed getting to know the teenagers in our area. Last [month], we had a Posada at our house (A Christmas festival originating in Latin America that dramatizes the search of Joseph and Mary for lodging.) We walked around a couple of blocks holding candles singing Christmas carols. At two different houses, Mary and Joseph knocked on the door to ask if there was “room in the inn” (we designated each of the two houses ahead of time and the occupants read a little script basically telling Mary and Joseph “no.”) We ended the journey at our house, and this time when Mary and Joseph knocked on the door and asked for lodging, of course the response was “yes.” So everyone then proceeded to enter, where the kids and their families were welcomed to deserts, gingerbread house building, and a piñata. A great time was had by all. Merry Christmas!!!

Curtis also is asking everyone to keep Miguel and all the people of Haiti in your prayers. If you can help financially, please click here.