Emotional Kaleidoscope, by Wendy

This week's blog entry comes from Dweller Wendy, (pictured below on the left, with City Director Matthew and fellow Dweller Kenna), who's complete blog can be found athttp://roadsidetamales.blogspot.com/

I have a definite case of the warm and fuzzies and yet all I want to do at the moment is curl up and cry. I am overjoyed and overwhelmed and so confused by the sudden and intense alternating highs and lows here.

The week is over, the weekend has arrived, and as I suddently have the time to stop about what has happened in the past two weeks (last weekend I didn't have a chance to stop and breathe) all the emotions are crashing upon me simultaneously.

First and foremost, our house has felt the pain of another family loss. Kenna is back in Arizona for over a week and we have all felt the grief and the love that spills from her heart this week.

We have come together in prayer as a household to lift her up and her family - which is a joy because in the midst of this tragedy, our house feels more like a home than it has so far . . . I don't know how I feel in the midst of all of it. I am dismayed by the intensity of my own sense of loss.

This past weekend we went as a house to a seminar as a house, one on the Song of Solomon. Granted, none of us are getting ready to enter into a marital relationship, but this was another chance for us to all worship together, of which we have taken very few. This also was a joy, and we spent the day with Matthew and Darcie and Charlotte as well - it was so incredible to hear their take as well!

On outreach on Wednesday we dealt with one of our problem clients - I say problem client not because he is so bad in himself, but when we first brought him in there was some miscommunication and he did not have a TB test. Before we even got a chance to get it taken care of, he ended up back in Cedars Sinai hospital. On Monday he was discharged, but the bed that we had for him was no longer available - and nobody was working because it was President's Day . . . so we had to tell him that we couldn't still take him in.

This Wednesday I played cello in the Ash Wednesday service - which came off quite nicely, but required a good amount of preparation . . .

. . . and on Wednesday I left work at 9am to spend the day with Kenna up until her flight home. The service was quite emotional for me.

Afterward I recorded some things (don't tell Dad (: It's a surprise . . . actually I think I told him last night).

Thursday . . . was a long day. And then came today. Today we did data entry at the office until around 2pm and then took one of our clients who finally moving into his own home grocery shopping and then to his apartment. The furniture is set up already and he has all of his linens and his pots and pans . . . I am soo soo happy to see this finally happening. It has been almost 5 months since he finally agreed to come into shelter. It has been over a year since he began the process of getting a section 8 apartment. This is his first home as I understand it in 13 years. He is 68 and in so many ways reminds me of my own dad. It will be weird not seeing him around the shelter. My only hope is that he finds a way and a reason to stay active.

And then when we got back to the shelter, there were the girl scout cookies that I ordered *finally*

I am just so tired after all of it. I don't really want to take a nap, but I don't particularly want to stay up either.

My time here has been amazing beyond all of my expectations and I have no doubt that it will take me years to understand all of the things that I have seen here so far. As I was riding my bike home tonight, I couldn't help but think back to the first Tuesday here, I think it was our second day overall? When the tamale man raised his voice in our alleyway, that is when I realized that this place really was different from Kansas.

On the way home there is always a fruit vendor with mangoes and strawberries on the street corner by a couple of schools and along the streets there is always someone selling chips and ice cream from a push cart and in the large white box trucks that seem to live in our neighborhood there is always fresh produce.

Sometimes I forget that this place isn't the one that I grew up in. It is so easy to become accustomed to the sights and sounds around us and almost become comfortable. This week there have been reminders of the discomforts in this neighborhood as well. I have about three posts worth of things in my mind that could use sharing.

Truly this neighborhood is ministering to us as much as we are to it, if not infinitely more. I have so much to learn here, if I remember half of it, it will all have been worth it.

My Heart to be Broken Again - by Curtis

But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.- 2 Corinthians 12:9, NIV

As I am nearing the halfway mark in my year of service in Hollywood I have decided to take a little different approach in writing this blog than the past entries I have written. In the past month I have lost my grandfather "Papa", been struggling with the current state of Haitian friends, dealt with and improved issues that my housemates and I have faced, and been sick with my Crohn's. I hadn't sat down to process much of what has been happening until my roommate Will asked me how I was doing spiritually the other night. I realized that I have been just going through the motions and have almost gotten used to some of the things that my heart used to break for and brought me here to serve in the first place. I had not spent the time in prayer and silence like I had in the beginning to process the things that I witness every day. And because of my lack of time alone with God I had almost become numb to the pain and problems that face the people I work with and am in community with. I am asking for prayer for my heart to be broken again. I had started to view what I am doing as my job and that caused me to treat it like any other job I don’t necessarily love. But my hope for the second half of this year is that I may have a servant’s heart once more. What is the truth that I preach in words and actions without tears, and what are the tears without the truth? I am excited about what God has in store for my next 6 months.

When life knocks you on your knees, you’re in the perfect position to pray!

Extravagant Love

“And I ask him that with both feet planted firmly on love, you’ll be able to take in with all followers of Jesus the extravagant dimension’s of Christ’s Love. Reach out and experience the breadth! Test its length! Plumb the depths! Rise to the heights! Live full lives, full in the fullness of God.” – Ephesians 3:19

(Wendy, Will, Kenna, and Alex with members of Hollywood Presbyterian Church at Forest Home)

It’s not necessarily red and heart-shaped. It’s not chocolate flavored or rose scented. In fact, this love can be downright messy. It can sometimes smell like picked-up garbage; sometimes feel like blistered hands on a hot shovel; sometimes taste like overflowing tears. But immersing yourself in the love of Christ and connecting to others in his name does indeed bring joy.

(Discover Participant and Dweller, Mary, helping to sort donations at a homeless shelter.)

It’s the joy of smelling fresh grass during the prayer before the soccer game. It’s the smiles of the residents at the shelter once you’ve helped to reorganize and clean all the donations with them. It’s the warmth of the fire standing amongst friends even after taking a moment to remember those who have recently died. It’s spending a year living in intentional community with people we don’t know (and don’t always like), but trusting in God’s purpose all along the way.

We invite you to come to Hollywood for a year or a week, and witness the incredible dimension’s of Christ’s love here in our city. It runs deeper than the Pacific Ocean, longer than the beaches in Malibu, higher than the Hollywood sign. And yet, it’s as close as an encouraging conversation, right when you need it.

God’s blessings to you all!

Matthew

(The neighborhood young adult and teenage Bible-Study soccer team before a game.)

Dwellers 2008-2009: Steph, Mary, Alison, and Sara with Matthew

(Dwellers 2007-2008: Stephanie, Jen, Shelton, and Kristina)

Bit by Bit, by Alex

January and February, for the Dwellers as well as for most people in general, can tend to feel a bit fragmented. Nonetheless, we still press on, as Alex's recent update illustrates. Please keep praying for the Hollywood Dwell unit amidst this walk! (And be sure to check out the link to an amazingly powerful slideshow about PATH, where Alex works.)

Hi Everyone,

I apologize for my lack of updates recently. Everything, for the most part, is going well with me in Hollywood. Below is a bit by bit update on the main aspects of my year.

-- I have found a wonderful church to be involved with while I'm here in LA, called Silverlake Community Church. The pastor is a fellow graduate of Trinity University! The church is small and quite diverse. I am involved by singing in the choir (haven't performed yet!) and participating in a weekly devotion/fellowship/dinner group that is composed of young adults that take turns sharing a meal and discussion in people's homes.

-- Our intentional community composed of my fellow YAVs and myself has had a few issues and rifts over the past few weeks or so, but we are working through them. This is perfectly normal and to be expected when five complete strangers commit to living together for a year, no matter if they all happen to be Christians.

-- Our neighborhood ministry, the afterschool care and tutoring, is still up and running three days a week. We are getting to know the kids and their families better, and the kids are always knocking on our door even up to an hour before we officially "open" because we're eager to hang out. We've also had the privilege of having dinner with a couple of the families who live in our neighborhood in order to know them better.

-- We also host a weekly bible study group in the community house for teenagers that is led by a local Pentecostal church. This study is growing fast and has more than 30 kids that come sometimes. Many of the kids who live in the neighborhood attend, including two young men who had sunk deep into drug use and spent a lot of time of jail before becoming Christians a couple years ago. They now spend much of their free time telling their friends about Jesus.

-- I am still loving my job at PATH (People Assisting The Homeless). It's probably my favorite part of being here. I have amazing coworkers and love having the opportunity to help people get off the streets and into housing. Today one of my coworkers and I went furniture shopping with a shelter/outreach client who will be moving into his very own apartment later this week after living in our shelter for 5 months and on the streets for several years prior to that. He is very excited, but also scared about the prospect of living independently by himself. Please keep him in your prayers.

You can read a great LA times article and see an "audio slideshow" about my job here. The speaker in the video is one of my supervisors. She leads the PATH outreach team that works at night (from 4pm to midnight) while my other supervisor leads the daytime (7:30am - 4pm) outreach team, of which I'm a part.

Finally, I have (UNOFFICIALLY) met my fundraising goal for this year!!! Thanks to all who contributed!

-Alex

Remembering that Death is Conquered

"I will ransom them from the power of the grave; I will redeem them from death: O death, I will be thy plagues; O grave, I will be thy destruction." - Hosea 13:14 (King James Version)

Call it "winter blahs." Call it "The Januaries." The afterglow of the holiday season seems to always be a time of heaviness, a time of reckoning. This year, in particular, our Dwellers have had to deal with deep personal loss in a concentrated way. Between November and now, we've suffered the passing of three grandparents, and have been praying for the health of many other friends and family members. It is always hard to balance what we believe, that Jesus has conquered death, and what we feel: Sadness, emptiness, maybe even some regrets.

This week, the Dwellers and I traveled north to Valyermo and visited St. Andrew's Abbey, a Benedictine monastery up in the mountains. This is becoming tradition, as it serves as the perfect backdrop to a solitude retreat, one where we practiced silence in prayerful hope that we might find better reception for the voice of God, putting Psalm 46:10 into practice ("Be still, and know that I am God.") We were directed to visit the cemetery, which made sense on several levels. The austere desert mountain bleakness echoed with what many of us are feeling. In the dimness of January, it would seem like there exists a small death of fervor for the mission. Joy seems to be taking a nap.

Which, I'm reminded, is okay. I found myself contemplating the Saturday (or whatever day it actually was) that Jesus was neither dying nor reborn, between the cross and the rising. What a dark day that must have been. I can hardly imagine. But it turns out alright, gloriously better than ever expected. Jesus rises, having conquered death and re-establishing true hope for humanity, now and forever.

So, we take heart. In our grieving over loved ones who've passed, we look to the empty tomb. In the funk we find ourselves in this month, we can look to the energetic and passionate letters of Paul. We have so much work ahead of us within this mission, in this neighborhood, and with each other, and find ourselves overwhelmed. But we take heart, ask for prayer over the coming months, over the health of the garden, over the health of the little community and the heart it brings to the neighbors. And we settle back down in the hope that Jesus will encourage us, will strengthen us, will support us.

He has and He is and He will.

To all the groups and folks that will visit us this year, we pray that the amazing work of God, the powerful love of Christ, the energetic passion of the Holy Spirit will be revealed in surprising and purposeful ways to you.

Blessings abound, even in this desert.

Matthew

Alex, Kenna, Wendy, and Will with kindhearted Brother Cassian.

Holidays, by Curtis

Our neighborhood ministry has been something that I have really enjoyed being a part of and watching evolve. Thanksgiving was a great time. Some families and kids from the neighborhood came by to spend some of their day with us and eat a really good meal. The bible study on Wednesday nights has continued to go well and I have really enjoyed getting to know the teenagers in our area. Last [month], we had a Posada at our house (A Christmas festival originating in Latin America that dramatizes the search of Joseph and Mary for lodging.) We walked around a couple of blocks holding candles singing Christmas carols. At two different houses, Mary and Joseph knocked on the door to ask if there was “room in the inn” (we designated each of the two houses ahead of time and the occupants read a little script basically telling Mary and Joseph “no.”) We ended the journey at our house, and this time when Mary and Joseph knocked on the door and asked for lodging, of course the response was “yes.” So everyone then proceeded to enter, where the kids and their families were welcomed to deserts, gingerbread house building, and a piñata. A great time was had by all. Merry Christmas!!!

Curtis also is asking everyone to keep Miguel and all the people of Haiti in your prayers. If you can help financially, please click here.

WENCESLAS

HELP DOOR HOLLYWOOD RAISE $2010 by 2010 by clicking here!!

Dignify those who are down on their luck; you'll feel good—that's what God does. God looks after us all, makes us robust with life— Lucky to be in the land, we're free from enemy worries. Whenever we're sick and in bed, God becomes our nurse, nurses us back to health. - Psalm 41:1-3, The Message

My all-time favorite musician, Tori Amos, recently put out a holiday album. The daughter of a Methodist minister, she is well-known for challenging the church (and yet, I find she sings about Jesus more than many Christian artists). But shouldn't we all be challenging the church, in other words, ourselves, to follow the path Jesus has laid out for us? It is, indeed, a narrow path.

On Amos' album, she includes the song "Good King Wenceslas." Her version caused me to actually pause and listen to what the song is about, though I've heard it many times throughout the Christmases of my past. The story of a king who notices a poor man and decides to not only deliver him a feast, but actually spend time dining with him. It is brutally cold and the king's page fears the weather, but Wenceslas assures him that if he follows in the king's footsteps, the winter's rage will not be harmful:

"In his master's steps he trod, where the snow lay dinted;

Heat was in the very sod which the saint had printed.

Therefore [Christians] be sure, wealth or rank possessing,

Ye who now shall bless the poor, shall yourselves find blessing."

Heat was in the very sod, how lovely. The warmth of God's spirit and grace. That if we set out on the task of blessing others, God will care for our needs. But we have to remember what Psalm 41 says, God makes us "robust in life." It's not to say that if we pour money onto others, God necessarily pours money back into our bank accounts. You "shall yourselves find blessings"..... and that just might mean finding newfound joy right within your very heart. A new fervour for this walk, a new light along this narrow path.

Mark Horvath, a member of the DOOR Hollywood Board and founder of Invisible People, has recently returned from a nationwide journey to bring stories of homeless folks to the light of day. Click the photo for the full CNN report:

Mark recently challenged me to make December about reaching out to the homeless, and so I, in turn, challenge all of you who are reading this. To learn about this rally for homelessness and what you can do in LA and your own towns and cities, click here: http://hardlynormal.com/blog/2009/12/13/tis-the-season-to-get-dirty-and-help-fight-homelessness-12for12k/

We pray, constantly, that seeing the face of God in Hollywood is, indeed, all about spreading God's blessing to all people through reaching out, building relationships, volunteering, and sharing our stories. If you would like to come to Hollywood and serve for a week, please explore our Discover program. If you'd like to come serve in Hollywood for a year as part of an intentional community, check out our Dwell program.

Either way, please explore the ways you have been blessed this year and always look for ways to share that light with others.

In Christ's Joy and Peace,

Matthew