DOOR Hollywood

Vocation Exploration in Seattle, by Britney

2012-01-20T15:33:00.000-08:00

This weekend five of us from Hollywood attended a conference in Seattle called Volunteers Exploring Vocation. While it a was a short retreat, the time was spent doing some serious reflection and discussion on what vocation means and how to discern vocation. Before the conference, I simply associated the word vocation with a career path. I expected to attend this conference and learn about different ministerial and social justice vocations. Instead, we discussed vocation in a way that I never considered. Vocation is more than just a career; it’s your lifestyle. Throughout the weekend, the definition of vocation revolved around this central theme: where your greatest desire and the world’s great need meet.

When I moved to Hollywood, one of my main goals was to find purpose. I thought if I moved away from home to do a year of service, God would illuminate the neon sign pointing directly to my “calling.” Honestly, I wanted to take the easy route…you know, let God make the decision of what I should do with my life, and then, I would just do it. I mean that is what we all think, right? God gives a calling. He grants us gifts and talents, which determine the path we should take. But, what if adherence to that mindset is just laziness? What if God’s call is for us to just do what we choose to do and do it with purpose?

Jenn and I at the original Starbucks!

I have decided for my life that purpose is not given to me. Purpose is a reflection of the praise and servitude that comes from being a follower of Christ and by doing what I am most passionate about.

While I’d like to say that the conference on vocational exploration concluded with that neon sign or an enlightened answer as to what I’m suppose to do with my life or what my life purpose is, I can only say that it reaffirmed this idea that I live in a constant state of discernment. It’s a lifetime journey that should NEVER have a conclusion.

This weekend, I began to truly reflect on what my vocation looks like at this moment. During my time in Hollywood, I am facing a lot of challenges. My job as the Neighborhood Partnership Coordinator asks me to step out into a very uncomfortable place that forces me to evaluate my own identity and awareness of intercultural competency. My intentional community asks me to be vulnerable and sensitive in ways that reveal my deepest flaws and my selfish demons. My city asks me to see the face of God in the not so glamorous and not so rich Hollywood that gets portrayed on television. All of these features collectively make this journey a place of discernment. In this place, I am forced to question, reflect, and discuss who it is that I am and who it is that I want to be.

Pike Place Fish Market

More than just the recognition of my present circumstances and the impact they have on discerning my vocation, VEV and the fellow volunteers that I met in Seattle helped me realize that this is not a journey I am willing to cease after one year of service. I want more, I need more, and God deserves more. If I am in search of an authentic relationship with God, then I must be willing to continue my devotion to seeking vocational discernment for the rest of my life.

Now, am I clear on what my deepest desire is? No. Am I clear on what the world’s greatest need is? No.

What I am clear on is my need to seek the answers to those questions whole-heartedly without ceasing.

Whether I become a teacher, stay a social worker, or join a circus, my hope is that it will be done with purpose.

Just a side note: Pretty sure I fell in love with Seattle! Must get back there soon!

Greetings from Normally Beautiful and Sunny Hollywood! by Jenn

2011-12-13T14:32:00.000-08:00

Today it is raining and reminding me very much of a November day in North Carolina, albeit quite a bit warmer. I first want to thank everyone for their greetings last week. It is such a nice surprise to get both e-mail and “snail” mail out here! This week will mark 3 months since I left Clemmons for this year long journey and I can’t believe that it is almost ¼ of the way over. I am still working with P.A.T.H. (People Assisting The Homeless), however, as of October 1^st, my job title changed to Navigator Intern instead of Outreach Intern. This doesn’t sound like a huge difference, but I am now an actual Case Manager for clients that are currently experiencing homelessness and staying in our shelter at PATH Hollywood. The negative side of this is that I feel like I am woefully underprepared for helping my clients find the resources they need to progress through our program and that is so frustrating. The positive side is that I am getting to know clients on a much deeper level and learning so much more about homelessness than I would otherwise.

Last weekend I went camping in Joshua Tree National Park with the young adult group at First Presbyterian Church of Hollywood called City Lights. In my head, this weekend was going to be warm, sunny and relaxing! Boy was I wrong! Instead it was cold, rainy, and I didn’t have a tent or sleeping bag that was quite appropriate. I was lying on cold ground Friday night shivering and really angry at the world. Then I realized that many of the clients that my roommates and I are encountering on a daily basis would be in those same elements without any tent or any sleeping bag. Trust me when I say, it didn’t make it warm, but it did serve to remind me why I am here.

Things have been far from easy since I left Clemmons, but there are times when God’s message is so very clear that it could be written across each of our foreheads. We are here to help one another, to be in community with one another and to have a relationship with God. There are times that the clients help me more than I help them. There are times that my roommates comfort me when I don’t even know I need to be comforted. There have been so many times when I have felt God’s hand on my shoulder, walking with me and God’s power underneath me carrying me that I am mesmerized by this experience and all it has to offer that I haven’t even found yet.

A few Monday’s ago we walked a labyrinth for Community Day in Palos Verdes Estates California…

The few from the labyrinth.

This picture is from a community day a few weeks ago where we spent the day at the old LA Zoo that was abandoned in the 60’s I think…it was a super awesome day also.

My Thanksgiving

2011-11-23T18:48:00.001-08:00

Thankful am I that we have a God who is loving, merciful,generous beyond measure, and forgiving. And, most thankful am I that wehave a God who likes to express that love through humanity, in community, incongregation.

After our daughter was born, thetownhouse we had bought in 2007 suddenly became a huge burden. My wife and I recognized that with both of us working andthus needing daycare, we would be losing several hundreds of dollars each month. Our home value had dropped almost in half, so we couldn’t rent it, and our choice for my wife to not resume full-time work made everything moreurgent. She spent months applying for loan modifications, getting deniedeach and every time. Meanwhile, I was battling some really difficultstrongholds. I felt that God had truly blessed us with this, our “firsthome”, and that I had somehow fallen short, that I had not been a good stewardof this gift. I was determined to hold on, no matter what. It was God’sblessing right, how could we let it go?

More slowly than I’d like toadmit, I uncovered that my “good stewardship” was really just “deepstubbornness,” and that my biggest fear, even over disappointing God, waslooking bad to those around me. What kind of man was I, that I would let ourhome slip through our fingers right after the birth of our firstchild?

Thankful am I that God started towhisper in that darkness. I started praying with friends, really opening upto several, opening up my Bible. I remembered that my real treasuresare not made of plaster and stairs and brick and carpet, but in relationship,in heart, in trust. And, almost immediately after surrendering the fears and self-scorn, we decided we needed to surrender the house, and we felt agroundswelling of hope and relief. I was blind, but then I saw.

Friends of friends at our church, some we'd never had so much as a conversation together, helped us find a place, helped us to move. Dwellersbent over backwards to help us pack and pick up the piano, to bind up the materials of ourlife. Whenall our “stuff” was hidden within brown cardboard cubes, I looked up andsaw this motley crew of a moving team laughing, singing, talking about work,asking me where this should go. God’s loveshowered upon me through friends wielding Sharpie pens, tape rolls, and anoccasional break to dance the Macarena.

My greatest fear was judgment, waslooking bad to my peers and community. What we got,instead, wasonly love. And this: when you turn yourheart on to being thankful, truly thankful, it can spread like a wildfire within, burning outthose dead trees, clearing a path for something new, generating new heat andnew light. The world tells me that in2011, we lost. Okay, maybe. But, miraculously, I feel thanksgiving. Thankful was I for the young married couple that hung in through the longshort-sale process, meaning we didn’t have to foreclose in the end. Thankful was I to be vacuuming that empty house to get it ready for them, which would become their first-ever home. Thankful was I thatwe lived there for 4 years with great memories. The time to live there wasover, but we had most definitely not lost. We entered as 2, now there are3 of us. That’s addition, not subtraction. Andwhen I think of all the folks that came together to help, I realize it’s multiplication.

Thankful am I that we have a God who is loving, merciful,generous beyond measure, and forgiving. And, most thankful am I that wehave a God who likes to express that love through the willing hearts and handsof people broken people like you, like me, like all of us.

Peace through the love of Jesus,
Matthew

Among the Brave, by Isaiah

2011-11-06T22:31:00.000-08:00

Another day has passed, and I can honestly say “I belong here.” It’s been over month since I moved to Hollywood, California [and since I last posted a blog]. Life has been crazy.

I write you from the discomfort of my hot, dusty room and I apologize that it has taken me so long to get you any sign of life from me. I have been extremely exhausted lately and a couple of times I have felt myself on the verge of getting sick. I am emotionally, spiritually, mentally, and physically stressed but I am slowly getting the hang of it and I know that soon enough it will become… well… “normal.”_______________

Chapter Uno:

I work with an organization called PATH [People Assisting the Homeless] for the Hollywood Navigation Team. As an Outreach Case Manager Intern my job involves 1) Going out through the cities of Hollywood and West Hollywood doing Outreach (handing out lunches, hygiene kits, and building relationships with those experiencing homelessness, etc.), 2) finding shelter for clients who follow the right procedures, 3) manage their case and ultimately navigate them to permanent housing- whether subsidized or unsubsidized.

Early Wednesday morning, my housemate, Jenn and I got picked up by our boss, Rudy, on what we like to call “the PATHmobile!” Our task for the day was to assist the LAPD on their'Clean-up Task Force' in partnership with the Department of Sanitation. The police officers thought it would be appropriate to bring PATH Outreach into this effort so that we could offer services to any homeless people that were encountered. Some of the people I encountered were reluctant to cooperate and were then taken into custody of the LAPD through a warrant. Some were able to avoid us and/or the police officers and remained off the radar. Others were willing to go into shelter and did not refuse services. One of the clients, “Hopeful” I will call him, caught my attention while conversing. He seemed desperate and wanted as much help as he could get. Hopeful is in his late 50’s and he has recently been struggling with depression and alcoholism. “I love you guys,” he said in a soft voice with tears in his eyes “I love you guys for doing this.” “We love you too,” said one of my colleagues, “but you don’t love yourself.” He closed his wrinkly eyes and shook his head no. Hopeful expressed that he was willing to take small steps towards getting his life back on track and that even though he didn’t have much hope, he trusted all of those who were willing to help him. Hopeful stole my heart today so I decided to volunteer to work on his case. When I first saw him he was pushing a stroller around with all of his possessions, and now he is in our shelter at PATH Hollywood.

I felt very encouraged by all of my co-workers that day. When I got to the office later in the afternoon some of them told me they were hearing stories about me. They said I had been on the field working “some magic” on clients. Everyone was impressed- even my director and I was just amused by people’s reactions to something so small. Here is why:

Earlier in the day we encountered a client who has always refused services. The 21 year-old has been approached multiple times by different people within PATH and in different agencies in many different occasions. The client was wearing torn clothing and carried himself in a way that made it seem like he had just come out of a building that collapsed. It was obvious that he had mental issues by the way he acted when we approached him and by the things we noticed he did as we watched him from afar. He had crossed the street many times without watching for traffic (which in LA especially is NOT a very god idea.), and he would spit out food and put it back on his mouth from the floor continually. In my mind, he looked like the face of poverty. The only people who were usually able to talk to him was some Officers with the LAPD. Then today… he talked to me. I don’t know what I did… probably nothing. The client might have felt a bit more comfortable to talk to me because I was younger than all the others and maybe I didn’t seem like much of a threat. I was able to communicate a bit with him. He was very polite, but he talked in a whisper and I could tell that my voice was not the only one he wa hearing at the moment. I offered him a lunch and he took it. I sat next to him as he ate the half he wasn’t planning on saving for later. I then noticed that he had no socks on and I happened to be carrying a hygiene kit with socks in it. I offered him the hygiene kit and told him that it had socks in it but that he could also keep the bag (a gym bag) so that he could put all of his belongings in it. He didn’t have much but what he did have he put it in his pants pockets and since those were torn, it kind of looked like a hot air balloon’s sand packs around his waist. I can’t quite explain it. The moment that made me realize I was actually doing something to move his case forward was when he put the bag on his back. Although his eyes remained distant, he exposed his teeth in a huge smile that lasted about 4 seconds. I almost missed it. It was that smile that reminded me that I was at the right place at the right time.

I know that there are many more smiles to come and I am eager to work with more clients and to help them reach their goals. It was very encouraging to me because the past few weeks I have been dreading going to work. I was initially going to be part of the Outreach Team which only involved the outreach part of the navigation process but then it all started changing and that’s when I arrived. I came in as everything was shifting around and nobody was sure on how to train the new interns because they hadn’t quite figured out how to do the job themselves. I guess what I’m trying to say is that I was getting sick of going to work just to sit at a desk or to follow people around. I had started questioning my purpose in this place in time. Things are slowly falling in to place and hopefully in a few weeks I will feel like part of the team as an equal, and not as the kid who is standing in the way of their daily duties.

Thursday even looked even more like one of my co-worker’s normal days. I did an intake and got a new client and I replied to emails, scheduled appointments, and met with clients. I think it’s going to be ok. ____________________________________________________________

Chapter Dos:

This part I will explain mostly in pictures.

We run a community house called "La Casa de la Communidad" which is directly attached to the front of the house we live in. For the first hour the kids from the community can come and do their homework and study and we help them as best we can. We tutor the kids with whatever they need tutoring and if they do not need anything they can usually come and small games, read a book, or use one of the coloring books. La Casa is open on Tuesdays (6-8pm), Thursdays (5-7pm), and on Sundays (3-6pm). The second hour we try to have a planned activity for the children/community such as sports, dance, crafts, arts, cooking, music, etc.

Looking spiffy before the Young Life Gala

Life has been pretty stressful. I think most of us have had a moment where we either break down crying, when we want to quit, or when we just want to run away. It can very very stressful. We all have different personalities, habits, ideas, quirks, etc. and when you put them all in a box it can be pretty crazy.

We have had to deal with a lot of conflict resolution but it's normal.

At the end of the day we all love each other (I think/hope). I personally have been struggling a lot to open up to them about my feelings and what is going on through my mind because it can be very intimidating to open up to such a large/diverse group of people especially when there is so much going on during the week.

Most Mondays we have a community day and during the prayer time we share something we need prayer for and something we are grateful for and.... it can be hard for me to share but I am learning to be more vulnerable- not just for my sake but for the sake of building up our small community.

At Forest Homes Retreat

_________________________________________________________

I conclude by saying- honestly, that I have grown a lot as person in general. I have matured in so many different ways in my spiritual walk and in my general walk in life. I have been broken down and pieced back together so many times that I do not feel like I am the same person I was a month ago. I can see the face of God in the people here and I can see his mighty hand working in so many different ways. I have seen a whole other side to humanity through the homeless population and it is truly changing my life.

I belong here.

Radio Silence, by Jenn

2011-10-28T00:57:00.000-07:00

At orientation we went through a big hullabaloo about if you write negative things on your blog, they can take on a mind of their own and all of the sudden saying that there is smog in LA turns into there are aliens living at the Hollywood sign and they are taking over the world. Hmmm…sounds like a new MOVIE idea!!! But you know what I am saying. The last few weeks have been super challenging and I think it would be fair for me to say that there have been more reasons to be angry/negative than happy/positive…so that would be the reason for the radio silence. I was being overly cautious about posting my true feelings and impressions.

So what happened? God spoke…well, he spoke with humans at least. Many of you know that I adore my church at home…shout out to Clemmons Presbyterian Church, but one of the things that has been a wonderful surprise has been the sermons at First Presbyterian Church of Hollywood. (www.fpch.org) FPCH is the sponsoring congregation for the YAV program and had maintained an urban ministry called the Hollywood Urban Project for a long time before the transition. The current pastor, Dan Baumgartner, has been at the church for about a year. There is no rule that says you must attend a Presbyterian church, but I really enjoy traditional services and the organist is amazing at FPCH so I figured I would start with their 9:30am traditional service. FPCH puts a single lined sheet in their bulletin that is titled “sermon notes,” and I figured that my first item to do as an “adult” was to take notes on the sermon. Imagine my surprise when THE FIRST sermon that Pastor Dan preached when we got to Hollywood on September 4th was on Colossians 3:15-17

Let the peace of Christ rule in your heats, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, as you sing psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

This sermon was all about the work that we do. I left a position as an Accountant for Beco Inc. to come to Hollywood this year. It was an incredibly difficult decision to make, it left them in a bind, but they were all very supportive of this journey in spite of that!

Pastor Dan posed 3 dead ends in our mission to glorify God with our work.

1. If we see our work separate from the rest of life.

2. If we “put up” with work. ”Sometimes I do what I want, and sometimes I do what I have to do.”

3. If we look for our work to develop our identity.

I’m not really going to break those down at the moment, but what was truly moving was that MY FIRST worship experience in Hollywood was all about WORK! Something I was all too familiar with. Pastor Dan then posed three questions that we should all ask ourselves about our work:

1. Are we doing good work? (Meaning are we serving others with our labor)

2. What type of work are you doing?

3. Who are you working with?

Once again, I’m not really going to break these down except to say that all work, as long as it is to the Glory of God, is worthy work. Those who are teachers are not “better people” than bankers or accountants just because their work is in direct service to young people. (Although I am grateful to all of my teachers, including my friends and family that are currently teachers) My point is that, ALL work comes from God and it is only through his Glory that we will excel at it.

This post has in no way shape or form addressed my earlier comments about the struggles I have had since being in Hollywood, but I have been wanting to talk about this sermon for weeks. I miss my family that is Clemmons Presbyterian Church and there have been a ton of sermons that Rev. Hoyle has preached in the last 4 years that have moved me to action, including one that got me to Hollywood, but I just want to thank God for bringing me FPCH and acknowledge that when I STAY for the 11am contemporary service it is because God is speaking through that church and saying the things I need to hear.

Jennifer

I Don't Want to Serve Anymore, by Tyler

2011-10-19T21:03:00.000-07:00

“Often we strike the high moral distance that separates ‘us’ from ‘them,’ and yet it is God’s dream come true when we recognize that there exists no daylight between us. Serving others is good. It’s a start. But it’s just the hallway that leads to the Grand Ballroom. Kinship-not serving the other, but being one with the other. Jesus was not ‘a man for others’; he was one with them. There is a world of difference.” (Gregory Boyle Tattoos on the Heart). This is a quote from a book written by Father Gregory Boyle who has invested most of his life in being present with gang members, and giving them opportunities through employment. We have been reading this book, me and my housemates, and it has been making me reconsider some things.

Tyler, foreground, with several housemates

I would say that I came to Hollywood to be present with those who are economically disadvantaged, and those who are struggling with homelessness. I was very conscious of the fact that I am not here to change people, but I think there was still some aspect of me that would say that I came here to serve. To serve those who have less than me. Now, I read this book and I am completely rethinking the whole idea of serving.

Here is why. The idea of service is hierarchical. In other words, it implies that someone from a higher or advantaged position is coming down to “serve” the one in the lower ordisadvantaged position. It does not imply two equals interacting, but two unequal people interacting. The person on top is the one stooping down and sacrificially serving the person who is below or at a disadvantage.

This is what Jesus did isn’t it? God sacrificially came down from Heaven in the human form to live and die with us. God did not have to do this. God chose this. God came to serve humanity. This makes sense, because Jesus was God. Jesus is and was higher than us, Jesus was superior, and we are not equal to Jesus. So, the term serve in this context fits, it works, and is a good descriptor. Jesus chose to come down from heaven to be with us, humanity, and we are not equal to God.

Now, here is my issue and what I have been rethinking. All of humanity is equal, none of us are higher, better, or superior to another. This is my understanding of God anyways. So, how can we serve one another if we are all equal? I guess we could if we view ourselves as equal to begin with, and then serve one another. This would be placing ourselves below the person we are serving. However, especially when it comes to serving those who have less money than we do, I do not think we usually think of ourselves as equal to begin with. We in some way think we are better than them and that is why we must serve them. This is the problem, and it needs to stop.

The problem with the mindset of service is that walls of separation never get broken down. We can choose to hop over the wall and serve when we want, but we just jump back over and give ourselves a pat on the back when we are done. The walls that separate those at the top from those at the bottom still exist and are not questioned. We never fully identify with those we are serving, we never truly become one with others as Father Boyle suggests. We get to feel really good about ourselves when we do our various acts of service, while maintaining our mindset of hierarchy. When this happens, nothing really changes. Our hearts are not transformed, and Heaven is not brought to earth. We still view ourselves as the ones at the top serving those at the bottom. We selfishly get to feel really good about the act of service that we have done, while still enjoying our advantaged position and that’s about it. I say this is not the heart of Jesus. This is why I think it is possible for a person to live an entire life of “service” and for true love to have never existed.

This may seem like not a very big deal, a mere play of words. But I think it is a huge deal, because the way we internally understand what we do outwardly is a big deal. Love cannot exist where there is hierarchy, whether that is outwardly visible or if it just exists internally. If I am serving with a hierarchical mindset, I am only fooling myself into thinking that I am doing an act of love. Society and the church have accepted the hierarchical mindset as normal, unfortunately neither will question the walls of enjoyed privilege that still exist in our own acts of service.

Serving others is good, and it is a start. However, it is not the goal. The goal is for us to be one with all humanity, because we are all humans and we are all equal. When we serve, we still complacently enjoy our advantaged position. When we are one with others, the situation that others face becomes our own situation. Others problems become our own, through the power of the Holy Spirit we absorb the pain and struggles of others. We become one, and when this happens hierarchy is destroyed and love can flourish. The scary part of all this is that the mindset of oneness means that we will begin to ask questions that may threaten our current way of life. When we spend time with those who are ignored by society and consciously work against hierarchy in our lives, everything will change. Everything. We will begin to enter into the lives of others, and this will reveal our own actions and behaviors that foster and encourage the oppression of those whose lives we are now present with and deeply care for. We will discover that in many ways the things that we enjoy directly or indirectly cause the misery of others. This is not a fun process, but it is a true reality. Our entertainment, our jobs, our families, our safety, our dreams, our hopes, our money, our spending habits, and how we spend our free time are all potentially the cause of someone else’s misery. When we seek to rid our lives of hierarchy and become one with those who are rejected and ignored, we must be ready and prepared to change our relationship with every area of our lives. Again, this is scary, but it is the Gospel. God will be with us, and God will give us new joys and passions, don’t worry.

So, I am proposing the term service and the hierarchical baggage that come with it be eliminated from our vocabulary, our hearts, and our minds. As I have been thinking about this, the question, “Ok, so then what do we do?” comes to mind. Father Boyle uses the term kinship, I have also heard the word partnership or partnering used. Both of these words help us enact a vision where we are all equals. They help us to not view ourselves as higher or better than anybody else. The idea of just being present with people, simply because that is what Jesus would do. I would also like to suggest that maybe there is no replacement word for service, because those things are simply the acts that Jesus would do, that’s it. This would help us to not become prideful or attached to a certain idea that we can use to label and announce our generous and compassionate acts.

I think it is dangerous and easy for our egos to get inflated when we engage in acts of service. Especially if we are white, middle class Americans serving those who have less money or who may be of a different race. I think the reason this is easy is because we think of ourselves as better, and we are so proud of ourselves when we at least for a moment give up our “higher” status to serve those with “lower” status. If we are equals though, it helps us to just act as Jesus wants us to without having some special name for our out of the ordinary generous acts.

This quote from an Australian Aboriginal Group kind of sums up what I am trying to say, “If you have come to help (or serve) me, you are wasting your time. But if you have come because your liberation is bound up with mine, then let us work together.”

We are not to help one another, or serve one another. We are to work together, partner with each other, and just be together following the Way of Jesus. We do these things for no other reason than simply because that is what Jesus did, and we seek to be faithful and emulate the life Jesus lived.

I have recently been writing a lot about what goes on in our minds and hearts, as opposed to our actual actions. The reason I think this is so important is because our heart and mind directly affect our actions. They are the gateway into truly loving others, and they can also block love from even being possible. The unfortunate thing is that we can participate in many various acts of “service”, and have love never exist because hierarchy still reigns in our hearts, minds, and lives.

May we seek to live like Christ, and work to break down the walls of hierarchy that separate and blind us from each other. May we recognize that this must take place in our hearts and minds before it can truly happen in our actions, and may we be honest enough with ourselves to recognize when our own lifestyle and behaviors cause or do nothing to stop the misery of others.

Dear ben adam, What Are You Doing?

2011-10-12T14:02:00.001-07:00

Now that I finally finished my series on the bike trip, I think I need to write a brief post on where I am and what I am doing. For years, I said I would never end up in Los Angeles. Now, I live in the lecherous heart of a city defined by people who wear masks for a living. I have been in Hollywood for a month and a half, and already, I see Hollywood’s exported self-image for what it is: a facade. Los Angeles lays claim to the largest population of people living on the streets in the country. Hollywood’s international fame is not immune to the presence of folks without houses. For as many names of dead, living, and fictional celebrities imprinted into stars in the sidewalks, there is an equivalent amount of people living on these same walkways. Furthermore, making the gentrification complete, the average annual income of the people living in my neighborhood is $27,000. They make up the servant class to the opulent movie industry. They clean the studios and homes of those who work in them. Within their poverty, drugs and gangs rose to direct this community. What am I doing here? Right now, not enough.

I live in a Christian intentional community house. The name of the program organizing

From Left to Right: Papo, Jenn, Britney, Nathan, Eva, Tyler, Matthew (the City Director), his daughter, and me

this house is DOOR (Discovering Opportunities for Outreach and Reflection). On Monday mornings, my housemates and I awake to clean the whole house. We proceed to the grocery store to buy our food for the week. Mondays are Community Days. We work together to accomplish the tasks necessary for maintaining the well-being of our community. We take time out of our day to connect. Prayer, discussion, book study, and open, honest reflection about our time here come on Mondays when we gather with our City Director Matthew Schmitt. These days mean a lot to me. I love them because I love my housemates, even though I might not tell them enough. Additionally, these days possess the messiness of life in a concentrated way. Community Days hold the greatest potential for Love and conflict. We cannot run from each other on these days. Our vulnerability exposes and opens us; our need for cooperation grinds us against each other. Beautiful.

Tuesday through Friday, I arrive at Social Services of Blessed Sacrament at 6:30 a.m. to work in the drop-in center there. At Blessed Sac, we provide numerous different services. Most days, we serve breakfast and lunch. We provide showers, clothes, a nurse, haircuts, and AA meetings depending on the day. People trying to get into a transitional shelter need sheets of paper called “Homeless Verifications”, and we offer those. Folks come to us to receive reduced-fee vouchers for IDs and bus tokens to get to there appointments. If they miss lunch, they can get a sack lunch. Our ultimate goal is to end homelessness in Hollywood. Consequently, we provide case management in order to help people locate and secure housing. Basically, work at Blessed Sac is the best part of my week. I wake up wanting to go to work. I miss it over the weekend. For some time, I felt called toward social work, toward working with the people shoved off the sidewalks after they have been evicted from their homes. I flirted with pastoral ministry, but every time the opportunity arose, something prevented me from entering ministry. This work showed me why. This is where I belong. As I write, my life feels consumed with Love thanks to working with those who come into the center. Beautiful.

At least one day a week, I help prepare dinner for my whole house. This experience may be one of the greatest reasons for living in intentional community. Preparing food for others shows Love in a powerful way. When I lived on my own, getting motivated to cook healthy, delicious food proved nearly impossible. Of course, when I only have to cook once a week, it enables me to put more effort and thought into that meal. This means every meal comes out tasting great. We eat like kings! Beautiful.

After I come home from work, I help run a community center out of our house two days a week. We essentially live in three houses. The front house functions as a community center while we do all the living in the back two houses. Out of that community center, we open three days a week to provide a safe place for kids in the neighborhood to meet, get help with their homework, play games, learn new skills, build relationships, feel loved, and just have fun. So far, this piece of my life is jumbled. Very little continuity carries over from one year of volunteers to the next. Therefore, we recreate this entire part of our communal life each year. This amazing opportunity grants us the ability to be caring adults in the lives of kids. Whether youth have loving families or not, the approval and encouragement from young adults can mean more than anyone may ever know. I find this part of my life both exciting and fulfilling. Beautiful.

Well, now you know what I am doing. This is my life for now. I hope it continues to grow and evolve as I do. It is proving very fulfilling, to say the least. I hope you call, e-mail, or visit me while I am here. Moreover, I hope you turn to your own community and imagine how you can make your life more intentionally geared toward building relationships with those around you. Look to be in solidarity with the ignored and shoved aside. Love with reckless abandon. Create a world that is beautiful.

Welcome ben adam, Britney, Eva, Isaiah, Jenn, Nathan, & Tyler

2011-09-09T21:37:00.000-07:00

Serving at Project Angel Food

Hailing from Oregon, Maryland, Puerto Rico, Pennsylvania, Burkina Faso, North Carolina, and Tennessee, meet Tyler, ben adam, Jenn, Nathan, Britney, Isaiah, and Eva, who've settled into Hollywood and their new Los Angeles existence these past two weeks. DOOR Hollywood invites you to get to know them, through photos on our facebook pages, and through individual blogs from each Dweller as they tell the story of God working in their and through their lives in our city.

Painting the roof of Union Rescue Mission

From Jenn's blog, Faithfully Scared: Tuesday morning we WALKED to Project Angel Food that provides meals to people who are homebound or disabled by HIV/AIDS or other serious illnesses. I spent a lot of time chopping, mushrooms, carrots, and parsley. Who know you could get a nasty blister chopping? They fed us a wonderful lunch and you could really tell that this is a ministry of meaning to everyone involved.

From Into the Mind of Nathan Mast: The first speaker, Jason, talked about evangelism and how to do it. He was saying how presbyterians tend to dread the "E" word. Some of the reasons he gave were because of the stereotypes. Like saying things like "Repent, the end is near!" He doesn't think that way of evangelism is necessarily the way to do it. I don't think so either. I've always felt strongly about that.

From Britney's Blog, A Journal into the Seemingly Mundane: The program recommends we explore the Spanish language and to help ease our transition into a predominantly Spanish-speaking neighborhood. So, I did what anyone would do to find help; I searched Craigslist. I ended up finding this wonderful woman named Charlesia to tutor me. She grew up with her grandmother, who is originally from Mexico. Charlie has been helping me familiarize myself with the basics. While I don’t expect to become fluent before arriving in L.A., I do hope my attempt to learn will ease the introduction to process to a new home and new community.

From ben adam's blog, messes of ben:

Much of this part of the ride stuck out to me due to the relationships we built. As short as it was, I keenly remember the awesome nights we had with new friends around fires, on beaches, and in little grocery shops. This on-the-road community became a source of much discussion for Tyler and me. What we began to realize were the effects of the medium of our transportation. Bicycling constitutes a relational-style of travel. Most often, people treat vacation or travel as consumption. They go someplace to consume. They imbibe roller coasters, sunny beaches, skiing, ancient ruins, forests, and whole long lists of “tourist” spots. Consequently, how people get to their vacation location acts strictly as a connecting line between consumption at home and consumption at their destination. Unlike this, cycling is both the mode of transportation and the experience. Cars and planes enable people to plug in to ipods, laptops, Gameboys, and cell phones. Disconnected from those around them, the people traveling alongside people in a car or plane become insignificant. However, when reduced to bare necessities, when faced with days and nights born of physical exercise, eating, and rest, those people sharing in the journey can make all the difference.

From Tyler's blog, Thinking, Reflecting, Seeking...Questioning: We began to get in the habit of our daily routine.Wake up somewhere around 7:30. Teardown camp. Eat breakfast (on good days we would get to go to a grocery store or small café). Stretch. Leave around 9 to 9:30. Ride 30 miles. Stretch. Stop for lunch. Stretch. Ride 30 miles. Find a campsite. Set up camp. Shower. Eat Dinner. Hang out with people we meet at the campsite. Read (sometimes). Go to Bed. Do it again in the morning. This is roughly what we did every day for 21 days.

From Isaiah's blog, Codename:Gregory: We ate outside- some community friends had come and joined us and we had a great time laughing together and sharing stories. It's been nice to speak some real Spanish with Latinos again. It actually feels like I am an Latin America- a mix of the culture, language, people, and the way the buildings look! It's like I'm in a Spanish novela on Telemundo and I am loving every moment of it. Some of the things I've learned today:

1) I might be a vegeterian by the end of the year with some help- let's see how this goes.
2) I might not be a germophobe by the end of the year with the help of my roommates- again, lets see how this goes.
3) Just because I can dance doesn't mean that I can play "Just dance" on the Wii and ever win.
4) God is testing me.
5) It's going to be an amazing year.

Your Soul Crawls Out from its Hiding Place, by Erin

2011-08-14T22:00:00.000-07:00

Erin, center, with the 2011 DOOR Staff

Zora Neale Hurston wrote, "Love makes your soul crawl out from its hiding place."

I think that is a beautiful sentiment that fitfully encompasses the time I had and the moments I witnessed while working at DOOR.

It was during DOOR that I saw beautiful people flourish, amid both living out actions and sharing their stories of struggles-- with homelessness, gangs, past struggles, sins, and lifestyles-- either on the Homeless Panel, as missionaries, or as part of our camp/missionary Discern staff. This kind of openness and accepting community was a beautiful thing to see, and exactly what I--and others--needed this summer.

This open love and community was shown everywhere from Skid Row to inside the church sanctuary; from Union Rescue Mission food lines to La Casa de la Comunidad’s garden. It was expressed through storytelling, through serving food (and sorting food, for hours), and through hugs. The joy and friendship was displayed through crazy photographs, through hands and hearts lifted in worship, through playing with local children, to sharing burdens of the soul and mind.

And as I saw friendships grow, dignity re-aligned with the soul, wounds of the heart and body healed, and compassion winning over judgment and apathy--I saw the face of God in this city, in these people, in these hearts. It was a taste of the banquet we will have in His Kingdom one day, a bit of the friendship His Spirit brought to us here in our earthly city, and it was a wonderful fun time.

-Erin was part of the Discern Hollywood team this past summer, guiding our Discover teams throughout the summer. Erin will be joining the Dwell team at DOOR Chicago in September as a Young Adult Volunteer.

A Macarena Dance-Off with Donald Duck

2011-08-05T20:14:00.000-07:00

Making new friends in Los Angeles

I didn't take on their way of life. I kept my bearings in Christ—but I entered their world and tried to experience things from their point of view. I've become just about every sort of servant there is in my attempts to lead those I meet into a God-saved life. I did all this because of the Message. I didn't just want to talk about it; I wanted to be in on it! - 1 Corinthians 9:22-23, The Message

Only in Hollywood, and perhaps only in front of the Chinese theater, would you hear this: “we had a Macarena dance-off with Donald Duck and SpongeBob got mad at us.” The context was this: some of our Discover participants were challenged to become resourceful one evening, and this was the outcome of one of their solutions.

Over the course of this year, we’ve had over 400 youth and adults come to Los Angeles and serve and learn throughout our city. This week alone, we have more than 60 folks from Sunnyvale, San Marcos, and Poway, California. In numbers, this means that somewhere around 16,000 hours were spent in outreach and relationship building and probably an equal amount in reflection and prayer. Here. And I’m not even a person who is moved by numbers, but when I think of that collective, it gives me significant pause.

But even more so, are the slowly learned lessons, and the one most prevalent on my heart today is this: homelessness is not a role, it’s a circumstance. In other words, there’s not a “homeless” personality despite all our memories of characters in movies like Home Alone 2, The Family Man, or others; but rather a phenomenon of factors that open the door for homelessness to happen. Yes, there are poor choices; yes, there are personality flaws; but yes, there are real compounding situations that push a person, no matter how resistant they are, into a time of living without stable shelter. It ultimately becomes overwhelming. Like “drowning,” a friend who’s experienced it has told me many times.

Reverend K.C. Wahe shares his testimony.

So when we get asked, as DOOR, “are we doing something wrong if the kids respond to some of our challenges by ‘playing homeless’?” I come back to this: homeless is not a role. It’s a circumstance. The stereotypical images and adjectives that we conjure of “the homeless” are actually the effects of the situation and the diverse resourcefulness of those living it. The signs, the picking up recyclable materials, the locking oneself in a Starbucks bathroom for 5 hot minutes to try to get a handle on the musty smell of showerlessness. When I see our participants making signs to solve the challenges we put upon them, I see them doing what they think will work best in the time allotted. Most of the folks I know who’ve experienced homelessness explain their awakening into the notion that they were actually homeless in the same way. “I don’t know how to do this, but I see those people trying that, so maybe that’ll work for me too.”

Homelessness is not a personality type, it’s a convergence of situations and choices. I believe there is value in walking in another’s shoes. I believe we have a good role model in our own God, becoming fully human and fully experiencing the challenges of humanity. Our “fallen-ness” is, in essence, another convergence of choices and situations. And through Jesus, I believe that God shifted the core of who we all are from “the fallen” to “the beloved children who’ve lost their way and need a shepherd to come along side us, walk us back to the pasture in which we were always intended to reside.”

Jesus turned the “them” of us, the fallen creation, into the “we” of the Kingdom, a community between Creator and Creation.

What if we could dissolve the “us” and “them” in the arena of homelessness, too? Could we have more dance-offs with Donald Duck, could SpongeBob find himself at the same table as Superman? Could we break bread together after you allow me to take a shower, give me clothes, throw out my urine-soaked ones, and share stories of the heart-ache and joys of both of our lives? Could I allow you to help me, even if you’re the one sitting on the side of the road asking for money, but I’m the one who, right now, feels more lost?

Reverend K.C. Wahe, head pastor of Community Presbyterian Church of Littlerock, CA and father of Discerner, Kyle, came by during our closing worship to open up his testimony to our friends from out of town, focusing on this verse: Just as a nursing mother cares for her children, so we cared for you. Because we loved you so much, we were delighted to share with you not only the gospel of God but our lives as well. - 1 Thessalonians 2:7-9 NIV His challenge to everyone was this: would we be willing to love someone so much that they were compelled to fall in love with Jesus? That was his story, set primarily in the very room he shared this sermon with us. Despite some incredible odds stacked up against him, it was people from Hollywood Presbyterian Church sharing their lives with him, walking alongside him, loving him when nobody else seemed able to do it, that really mattered and changed his life.

Community. Walking in each other's shoes. So that God's Kingdom might grow. So that lives might be saved.

Good night, and God Bless you all.

Matthew

Celebrating stories of reconciliation at Homeboy Industries

Unprepared, by Brady

2011-07-27T16:15:00.000-07:00

Jules: We should have shotguns for this kind of deal.

Vincent: How many up there?
Jules: Three or four.
Vincent: That's countin' our guy?
Jules: Not sure.
Vincent: So that means there could be up to five guys up there?
Jules: It's possible.
Vincent: We should have Bleepin' shotguns.

Most of us remember this scene(slightly edited) from the movie Pulp Fiction- it usually pops into my head at least once a day no matter what I'm doing at work. This short scene could sum up the general experience of anyone who works at a non-profit organization, especially one focusing on homeless services. Not that being a hitman is comparable to homeless services in anyway, but often times we're just so ill-equipped and poorly informed to back up what we're promising our clients, and in this way fail to effectively help them. At least on a basic service level, and by that I mean food, clothing, toiletries, showers, phone, information and directions to emergency shelters, and so on.

Imagine if you worked in a day care and you were told to cheer up all the children with a rusty can full of live centipedes and old stinky cheese, or maybe more believably promising everyone ice cream and then only a quarter of the group gets some. In either situation you might be able to please a few, but definitely not everyone...unless they're like really into centipedes or maybe cheese enthusiasts, in which case by all means roll with it because making do with what you have at the moment is all you can do sometimes. If you run out of shampoo then you're just going to have to hand out soap and towel. If you run out of towels then you're just going to have to stop the showers and wait for more, and get as many showers in after you get more as possible. If you run out of razors you're just going to have to say you ran out and offer something else. So why bother doing something if we can only help some and not all? Why do something if it's not going to be the absolute best? Should we even still attempt to? Does the world really need a bunch of B+ efforts?

In the movie, Jules and Vincent go into the situation despite being ill-equipped and with inaccurate information, and make it out ok. This, however, is only possible by what Jules is convinced is divine intervention. One day at work I was trying to convince a client, who had walked in a few minutes before close, that we had no shoes. He wouldn't have it though, he'd been walking all day and his current shoes(black dress shoes) were ragged and hurting him. First of all, we never have men's shoes where I work and, if we did, what were the odds we'd have his size? Second of all, I just didn't have anything left in me to deal with the disappointment that we both would have when I checked for shoes and came up with nothing. Finally, we were closed, and I was supposed to be going home, every else was booking it like they usually do and I wanted to be among them, not having one last insult to injury as I wasn't able to help another client among countless others this year. So to appease this guy I walked behind the counter to where the clothing and shoes are kept and what to my surprise was there but three massive bags of slightly used New Balance and Asics athletic shoes. Needless to say I was a little embarrassed (or ashamed, or maybe I felt selfish and lazy that I wouldn't even go to the counter and look) for a while, having been so convinced and trying to shoo off my client, and then happening upon bags of shoes. Not only was this guy getting shoes, but nice shoes that were intended to be walked in- a lot. So like Jules and Vincent, me and unknown client went into a situation not knowing the outcome, and then somehow dodged everything the situation could throw at us.

I know God is everywhere, but I really wasn't really aware of his/her presence at work until then. Until someone else, maybe not knowingly, told me to look and I did(reluctantly), and saw. I consider that day my own "divine intervention".

And They'll Know we are Christians by Our......

2011-07-20T11:09:00.000-07:00

“But what about you?” [Jesus] asked. “Who do you say I am?” Peter answered, “God’s Messiah.” - Luke 9:20, NIV

We're learning something this summer, again: some people don't have a very warm opinion of Christians.

As the hundreds of Discover participants come through Hollywood this summer, they are having countless conversations with people on the streets, people they are serving alongside, and people they are meeting who are on a path towards greater self-sufficiency.

Discover Participants from Washington and Minnesota

The wonderful women from St. Matthew's in Madison, Mississippi

St. Apollinaris Catholic Church at Hollywood Presbyterian.

Once again, a great group from Walnut Creek Pres!

Each week, we learn of yet another Veteran living homelessly who says something like, "I saw the cross around your neck and immediately got ready to be judged."

Yesterday, someone asked me why we don't send volunteers to Out Of The Closet, a local thrift store operation raising money for HIV/AIDS prevention and treatment. I reported that we've tried, but as soon as the store director learned we were a faith-based organization, he said, "no, we can't have church volunteers anymore, I can't put my staff through that again."

Many times I've noticed the "Jesus, Save Me From Your Followers" bumper stickers and smiled at the painful irony of it.

Some of our Discover groups are helping a local homeless relief agency by canvassing churches to find out their level of outreach programming for their homeless neighbors. Many discouraged young people are returning to report that more churches than they'd have imagined are doing nothing, and one associate pastor actually said, "the homeless? We're doing everything we can to get them OUT of our congregation. We're tired of them."

What are we doing? Our pastor at Hollywood Presbyterian Church recently asked the congregation, who would we, as Christians, say that Jesus is if he sat down in front of us and asked us directly?

Who indeed.

As the writer of this blog, I'm not immune to this criticism. On Election Day, 2008, my wife and I were flying from Pittsburgh back to Burbank. On a layover in Vegas, we learned that Mr. Obama was clearly on his way to victory. When we deplaned back in California, we found ourselves and everyone else gravitating to the airport television monitors, listening to Mr. McCain and the man who would become our next President.

The monitor we found ourselves at was quite a gathering. Smokey Robinson, Civil-Rights era Motown Legend and his manager, a Persian-American woman, a Latino family, two Mormon missionaries, and my wife and I were some of the faces in this crowd. But directly next to me was a gay couple, two men in their fifties, arms around one another. Many people were crying, as were they, but there's were a different kind of tears, more complicated. You see, that election was also the time when Proposition 8 passed in California, effectively saying that marriage between two men, or two women, would not be recognized. The lower third of the television screen conveyed this information as Barack Obama talked about the changes that had finally come. Most of the tears were exuberant and coupled with boisterous, hearty embraces. (Yes, I stole a hug with Smokey). But these two men, stood calmly with smiles on their faces, tears streaming down, unblinking. Something was to be celebrated, another thing was to be mourned.

And I suddenly knew that it was no accident I noticed them. God was asking me, then, "Matthew, who do you say that I am?" For God knew how judgmental I'd become towards the gay community. To be fair, this was not the run-of-the-mill-Christian-Bible-thumping judgmentalism on folks identifying as gay. My walk with Jesus started from that community at one time, and I myself have a large portion of experience from around, and within, that place. (But that is a blog for another day.) Suffice it to say, my stepping into something new, something different, meant that I produced a kind of shield around my "old self." And, as it would happen, a pervasive judgment amidst my inner thoughts. Outwardly, this meant I avoided gay people at almost every turn.

And yet, that evening, watching those quiet tears, I felt overwhelmed with humanity. Whether or not I agreed with Proposition 8, whether or not I believe that my marriage is, or is not, any more legitimate than anyone else's, I could feel the pain. Where so much of the United States was celebrating a new clang on the freedom bell and the expansion of possibility, this couple's world got a little harder. They may have been smiling over Obama's win, but mourning the closing of a door they had been fighting to open, and feeling on the outside of this momentous celebration. I felt a sudden urge to embrace them, and I did. I know it was probably more for myself than I'd like to admit, but I felt God moving through me, and I'm grateful beyond measure that God planted them right beside me that evening.

Who is Jesus? Today, I'm remembering that Jesus was a human being, humbly and completely. How we treat one another as human beings seems to matter, and I'm thankful for all these young people who keep coming to Hollywood to walk alongside other people, to listen, to share, to serve, to receive, to laugh, to cry together. It matters.

The Discern team, Crystal, Isaac, Matthew, Erin, Sean, Edzel and Kyle

On Praying Without Ceasing

2011-07-03T18:52:00.000-07:00

Discover participant from Knoxville finds quiet.

Our biweekly staff meeting at First Presbyterian Church of Hollywood has become a sort of Sabbath for me, especially during this summer. It’s a time where we gather together, pray, study, encourage, and plan. Even when it's somewhat stressful, it still allows me space to rest and pay more attention to God's work in my life.

This week was no exception, and it would appear that God was priming me for an upcoming lesson. We had read a short story by Wendell Berry called “Pray Without Ceasing,” from his book Fidelity. Without too much lead-in, this passage that fleshes out the title occurs several days after Thad up and shoots his best friend, Ben, in a moment of rage-filled despair, and directly before a scene of such awesome forgiveness, it actually causes me to tremble:

"Well, Jackie," she said, lifting and canting her nose to bring her spectacles to bear upon him, "poor Ben has met his time."

"Yes, mam," Jack said. "One of them things."

"When your time comes you must go, by the hand of man or the stroke of God."

"Yes, mam," Jack said. He was standing with his hands behind him, leaning back against the doorjamb.

"It'll come by surprise," she said. "It's a time appointed, but we'll not be notified.'

Jack said he knew it. He did know it.

"So we must always be ready," she said. "Pray without ceasing."

"Yes, mam."

"Well, God bless Ben Feltner. He was a good man. God rest his soul."

Jack stepped ahead of her to help her out the door and down the porch steps.

"Why, thank you, Jackie," she said as she set foot at last on the walk.

He stood and watched her going away, walking, it seemed to him, a tottering edge between eternity and time.

Not a typical Tuesday in the Sanctuary.

Two days later, during our closing reflection and worship with Christ Covenant Presbyterian from Knoxville, Tennessee, one of our participants, we’ll call her Adrienne, echoed this notion of “praying without ceasing.” Adrienne marveled that it was possible to “pray about everything. When we came upon someone living homelessly on the streets,” she said, “we prayed. When we were deciding what we could do for and with a person, we prayed. Before, and after, we said goodbye, we prayed. When we arrived at our agency work-site for the day, we prayed that God might use us well. Before dinner, we prayed for the hands that prepared the meal.” Adrienne had only experienced “god” on Sundays, and it would appear that for the first time in her life, she felt God with every step she took last week. The awestuck wonder in her face as she reflected upon this was as bright as any Gospel message I’ve ever heard.

New friends from Cincinnati at Union Rescue Mission

In the story, had Thad “prayed without ceasing,” maybe he would have felt a critical pause before pulling the trigger on his best friend. In my life, were I to sincerely be praying without ceasing, I may not have said that very hurtful thing, may not have acted so selfishly, yet again. Because what strikes me about this idea, is not that we should hide away in a solitary chamber and silently pray forever, out of the context of one another. Considering, though, that prayer is essentially a dialogue that recognizes the real presence of God, what if we allowed prayer to be the foundation of our thought-lives, even as we go about our daily businesses? Can we build an increased awareness of the presence of God? Can we see the face of God all around us, all the time? Can we feel God's calming hand upon our shoulder before we honk at the, let's face it, idiot who cut us off on the 101? Of course we will falter and fail at this, but imagine, if you will, what Adrienne’s realization could imply in our everyday lives. Can we imagine God’s presence when a homeless individual asks us directly for help? Can we imagine God’s loving arms around us when we lose someone dear? Can we imagine God’s watch when someone says, “if you just sign here, it’ll all be taken care of. There’s no morality in business, just good and bad business.” Can we imagine God’s joyful laughter when we break bread with former enemies and give breath to reconciliation and redemption, like Homeboy Industries does every single day?

I don’t know if I can do that all the time. In fact, I know that on my own, I’ll probably forget to even try. But I know how much richer and satisfying life becomes when I remember that God is near, loving me always, without ceasing, ever.

Dweller Kyle, Former Dweller Will, & Discern-er Edzel

Peace, Matthew

For more pictures of Christ Covenant Presbyterian from Knoxville, Tennessee and Northminster Presbyterian from Cincinnati, Ohio in action last week in LA, click here!

The New Normal, by Dweller Alayna

2011-06-24T21:00:00.000-07:00

Discover Participants with DOOR Staff, Edzel, serve together.

Life has become pretty “normal” here. When people ask me how things are going, all I can think to say is “good.” I have nothing new or profound to say. I am no longer overwhelmed by the big city, and I’ve grown accustomed to work that was once beyond what I ever imagined doing. It’s just…regular. Normal.

But when I stop to ponder what “normal” is to me now, I smile.

Normal is tending to our beautiful, blooming community garden–pulling weeds in the cool of the evening, greeting the neighbors who walk by.

Normal is telling my housemate I’m going to water the garden and having a little girl’s face immediately pop out of the a second-story window next door – “You’re watering now? Can I help?!”

Normal is driving through the streets of Glendale, searching for our homeless friends in back alleys and parks.

Normal is getting texts like these from our high schoolers: ”Hey, are you guys open now?” “What’s up” ”When are you getting back?” Most of the time they just show up and yell for us to let them in.

Outreach making a first contact with a homeless person

Normal is giving the woman next door a ride to the store so she doesn’t have to haul groceries on the bus. She, in turn, takes care of us by sending over tamales or using the tomatoes from our garden to make us salsa.

Normal is staying late at the shelter to read a book with the sweetest little homeless boy.

Normal is biking or walking a mile towards the Hollywood sign every morning to catch my bus.

Normal is a Saturday night spent playing an impromptu game of 3-on-3 with our high school boys then sitting on the porch hanging out till their parents call them home.

Normal is running into one of our teenage girls as I walk home from work, listening as she tells me about her latest boyfriend troubles, feeling honored when she asks for my advice.

Normal is hosting the most diverse dinners and cookouts and parties I could imagine; businessmen and women, homeless people, Hollywood hopefuls, neighborhood kids with their Spanish-speaking parents–all coming together in our backyard. I imagine God smiling as He looks down on those gatherings.

Sure, life is normal. But normal is pretty awesome.

-Alayna, a current Dweller, living in intentional Christian Community with 5 others, plus an entire neighborhood.

The Word.

2011-06-17T14:14:00.000-07:00

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was with God in the beginning. Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made. In him was life, and that life was the light of men. The light shines in the darkness, but the darkness has not understood it. John 1:1-5, NIV

Click here for more photos from the week.

An amazing Discover group from Abiding Hope Lutheran church in Littleton, Colorado joined DOOR Hollywood this week. One of the main themes was paying attention to the words we use to describe ourselves, to describe others. It got me thinking about words, and I started pondering the many words and phrases I heard, or read, throughout the week. Our prayers are with you as you return, Abiding Hope. Come back someday soon:

….Uuh. “Those” people. Albert. Compassion into action. Dehumanize. Two hours on the street. That quick. Snap. Identity. Theft. La Casa. What do I deserve? Arroz con Leche. Jesus. Yes Man. MEND. Losing our house. Engine death. Toni. Sleep on sidewalk. See. 7,500 hours of work. Unified. More life and soul. The wrong idea. Monkey on the ground. In a van. 73. Broken spirit. Too spicy Mommy. Security footage. Organized! Tapatio. But. I. Love. You. A little paranoid. Downsizing. Happy Birthday! The one we were waiting for. Mobile shower. GettLove. College degree. One eye open. Greater things. The face. Everyone kind of pushes past one another. Us. Gwen. Looked at us weird. Pluto. Rode the bus all night long. Bless. Hairnets? Boxes. Boxes, boxes, boxes. Ryan Reynolds. Really big. Of God. Entitlement. Surprises happen. Sticky hands. Angel Food. Y’all. How to react. PATH. A little crazy. Carolyna. Our new friends. Hand the keys over. The planet that shall not be named. Them. Rejection was very difficult. Gated homes in gated neighborhoods. Waits for six clicks. In the city. Multitudinous. Door of Hope. Freeze! Swoon. Pollo Tostadas. Gentrification. He’s gonna take my shoes. Green Lantern. Broken arm. Brought it upon yourself? 99.9% similar DNA. See myself in you. Bankrupt. Compound. Broken back. Kickline. If I falter, if I fade. Now, God is something I can’t stop thinking about.

Someone I can't stop thinking about.

Beauty in Vulnerability, by Alex

2011-06-11T01:36:00.000-07:00

When I first signed up to serve as a YAV, I really felt that this would be an incredible opportunity for me to spend a year doing something completely different with my life. Now, my year is beginning to draw to a close, and I am realizing more and more that what I have been learning and doing this year is not simply a year-long project that I will look back on with fond memories, but rather a stepping stone to beginning the life I truly want to live.

This year has been uncomfortable in many different ways. I moved into a house with five strangers (and four of them guys!) and was instructed to share my life with them. Together, the six of us share one car, about $80 a week for house groceries, living space and work together to run the community house where we live.

I’ve had roommates before and I love them all deeply, but I have never been challenged to share my life so intimately with others. We all come from different backgrounds and have different perspectives on politics, budgets, eating habits, cleanliness, disciplining methods, communication, God… (just to name a few). We work high stress jobs and live on a shoestring budget; we’ve gotten to see each other at our bests and worsts. You can’t fake it all the time or hide from people you share so much with.

I had never spent quite so much time with the same people… and it has been really hard for me. When the year started, I would daydream about having an apartment all to myself when the year ended. I’m not exactly sure when the change occurred, but my perspective has shifted. The house feels oddly empty when no one else is home. The house can even seem quiet with all six of us without the two or three house guests who always seem to be around.

I’ve also had incredible opportunities to build deep relationships with people outside of my house in LA, most notably the women in my small group Bible study. Each week the women pray for one another. We don’t just pray surface level prayers and joys, but we have begun to open up to each other about our fears, doubts, pains and mistakes. We lift one another up, text and e-mail updates, meet for coffee and fellowship. We have come to share one another’s burdens. I have never been involved in a Bible study group so intentional. Sometimes though, it’s really hard and uncomfortable. You open up and later wish you hadn’t. You wish you could have just held everything in… been composed. Yet, I really don’t think that is a true model of life. Life is messy. We all fall apart from time to time. To deny doubt and pain is putting on a front or showing others a lie. Sometimes opening up can help others feel better about their own pain.No one wants to be the only one suffering in a room full of people with perfect lives. And no one ever is.

This past weekend we had an incredible opportunity to help friends prepare for a major life change. They asked us to come over to their home and help them prepare to move. It was such a beautiful day for me. It was the first time I had been in their house when it wasn’t spotless and everyone perfectly composed. There were some dishes in the sink and toys on the floor. They were stressed, tired, and on one another’s nerves. They may not have wanted us to see them in the state, but I felt incredibly blessed to be there. I love that they felt comfortable enough and trusted us enough to share their stress with us. I don’t feel that Christianity means not having drama, pain or conflict, but rather Christianity is demonstrated in the way we respond to these universally experienced emotions.

Everyone has pain and struggles. Everyone makes mistakes. Everyone has quirks. The beauty is in sharing them with others and building relationships. We are not called to walk alone but to share our lives with one another. I am blessed to have had this year to begin to learn how to truly open up my life and love others. Now, I need to take what I am beginning to learn and step forward to create a community of love, openness and vulnerability, wherever I go next.

Summer 2011

2011-06-03T17:13:00.000-07:00

Crystal

Edzel

Summer 2011 is upon us. God has delivered DOOR Hollywood an exciting Discern team, with young people who have grown up in, or near, Hollywood Presbyterian Church. These young people, Crystal, Erin, Edzel, Isaac, Kyle, & Sean, have missions experience ranging from YoungLife, Bible camp leadership, and short term work worldwide.

Sean

Kyle

Please lift these six young people up in your prayers, as well as the hundreds of traveling Discover mission groups coming to serve and witness God here in Los Angeles. We pray for them all, as well as those who have been impacted by the recent disastrous weather, and need to change their plans and missions. May God meet and work through all of this and all of us, and may we be blessed by the relationships we build here in Hollywood this summer. To keep up with the program this summer, "Like" our facebook page here: Discover Hollywood!

Erin

Isaac

See the marvels of God! He plants flowers and trees all over the earth, bans war from pole to pole, breaks all the weapons across his knee. "Step out of the traffic! Take a long, loving look at me, your High God, above politics, above everything." - Psalm 46: 8-10, The Message

Sifting, by Alex

2011-05-19T20:59:00.000-07:00

Last weekend my housemates and I went on a trip to Tucson, AZ for a long weekend. We travelled down with an organization called Borderlinks to learn about and witness firsthand the issue of illegal immigration. Before the trip, I thought that it would be the perfect opportunity to learn about border issues and to decide where I stand on the issue.

We were asked to blog and share about our experience. Before the trip, I thought this would be an easy task. How silly of me. Unfortunately, things are never black and white. Because of that, this blog may seem a bit like an excerpt from a James Joyce novel, with no clear direction or focus. I saw and heard so much over the course of the weekend that it will take me a long time to process and further research. My heart and brain are both muddled messes right now. I cannot at this point say where I stand on the issue, but I invite you to join my internal conflict.

Imagine with me for a minute: Travelling by foot through desert into a new land. To a country with a language you don’t speak or understand. Leaving family, friends, customs, comfort and security behind. You may not even really like the country you are going to. You simply know that you have a better chance of being able to support your family in this new foreign place. You barely have enough to feed your children each day, let alone pay for an emergency doctor visit or prescription.

Now, imagine a second scenario: You are a recently laid off father of four (living in the States your whole life). You aren’t necessarily a “skilled worker” and now you can’t find a job paying more than $9.00 an hour because there are plenty of individuals in your city more than willing to work for this rate. You have a mortgage, car payments, a credit card and really hope to send your kids to college.

How do I look at this issue with the eyes of Christ? He says to love my neighbor. Which ones? It seems to me what may help one neighbor here may hurt another. Or is this stupid worthless worry?

Do I show my love to my neighbor by taking down all fences and walls? But aren’t boundaries and fences sometimes good and necessary? (Think of fences around swimming pools that keep kids from drowning.) Am I to give amnesty to all people living in the country without papers? What about my brothers and sisters who have been waiting for 14+ years to enter my country legally? How much will that delay their entry?

If I don’t know where I stand, how do I get involved? Am I called to be involved? How many issues can I be involved in at one time and earnestly care? I don’t know. I don’t have an answer, and I’m not sure I will for a long time (if ever).

In the meantime, I know that it is my job to help those in need. To give a brother or sister their daily food if they are in need. To walk alongside. To love. But above all this, to continue seeking Christ first.

Lord, give me your eyes for the world. Help me see where you want me to serve and help me to always see my neighbors in need.

The Illusive American Dream, by Alayna

2011-05-14T08:13:00.000-07:00

Why do we chase after the “American Dream?”

My housemates and I spent a weekend in Tucson last month learning about immigration and border issues [with the Borderlinks program]. At a house for immigrants on the Mexican border, I had dinner with a man who had lived in the States for several years before being deported. He was a young, single man with no children. Friendly and well-spoken, he was open to answering any questions we had. He spoke of returning to live in the US, and I saw dollar signs dancing through his dreams; he talked about his desire to have a nice house, two cars, and money to spare.

This is a common dream–and not just among Mexican and Central American immigrants. American citizens have the same dream. A spacious house with a white picket fence, a couple nice cars in a large garage, a big-screen TV in the family room, the newest technology–that’s America.

But why?

We hear all sorts of stories about how money makes people miserable, how lottery winners’ lives fall apart after they collect, how the rich old man dies alone. Some of the happiest people I’ve seen are those whose lives aren’t cluttered by material possessions. I’ve heard friends talk about how much happier kids that they met at a Haitian orphanage are–laughing, content to play outside and use their imaginations rather than argue over the latest video game. You hear stories from Africa about people sharing their limited food or possessions with whoever they can and finding joy in the process. Please don’t mistake me to be lauding poverty or starvation; I mean simply to draw attention to the fact that the greatest joys often seem to be found in the lives of those who do not “have it all.”

When we’re chasing after The Dream, what we have never seems to be enough.There’s always another promotion, a newer phone/car/computer, a bigger house. It creates a culture of greed and dissatisfaction.

So why do we chase it? Why do immigrants risk their lives to achieve it? Is my understanding of the allure limited because I don’t know what it’s like to truly be in want? Can we really biblically justify the co-existence of the American Dream and the Christian lifestyle?

Opening DOORs Celebration and Silent Auction, Friday May 13th

2011-05-11T10:50:00.000-07:00

We cordially invite you to learn about the exciting ways God is moving here in Hollywood, through the hearts of our neighbors, our Dwellers, and our many local agency partners. Admission free, handmade tamales from the Gregory Avenue neighborhood.

We will conduct a community building silent auction, with "items" like:
- a private BBQ for 6 with Pastor Dan and Anne Baumgartner
- VIP tickets and tours of local TV sets like NBC's hit, "Community"
- a private Bible Study session with Dale Bruner
- tamale-making lesson at Mama's Hot Tamales downtown
- CEO tours of many local social service agencies
- original artwork from our church and local community
- music lessons, free massages, and more!

Our goal is to raise $10,000 to fund a "Neighborhood Ministry Coordinator" position for a new Dweller, in the spirit of the former Hollywood Urban Project.

Please call Matthew at 323-872-3174 with any questions, or click HERE TO RSVP

Everybody Dies, but Not Everyone Lives, by Josh

2011-04-17T20:16:00.000-07:00

Since I came to Los Angeles I have spent a lot of time on the weekends playing Ultimate Frisbee in a park high up on a mountain under the famous Hollywood Sign. This has been a great catharsis for me to release all of my energy and work out any anger I have from the previous week. Through this activity I have also gained a lot of good friends, many of who I hang out with even off of the field. Some have even asked to come to church with me. I have also had the pleasure to have several of my roommates and old friends come to play with us.

[A few weeks ago], I went to the field expecting the usual Saturday game. Upon arriving, I was informed that one of our friends had passed away. This information really blew me away. Our friend Tom was only 24 years old. I found out that cancer was discovered in his body less than a month ago, and now he is dead. I realize that people all over the world die every day from many different causes, but it still makes you stop to contemplate life when it happens to someone you know. A lady from First Pres. Church of Hollywood died this week in a house fire. You never really know when it could happen to you.

Think about what you did last year, last week, yesterday, this morning. Would you change what you did if you knew that it was your last day on this earthly plane? This reminds me of some song lyrics that I wrote last year:

If you were given a warning

that you’ll die in the morning,

what would you do with tonight?

Would you throw a big bash?

Would you blow all your cash?

Would you try to set things right?

If you were told by a friend

That tomorrow’s the end

What would you do with today?

Would you release all your fears

After all of these years,

Or would you simply run away?

If you are not happy with your day to day life, change what you are doing. Pretend that you knew that you would die tomorrow. How would you spend your last day? Would you want to talk with your family or friends? Would you rather spend your last living hours watching television? What is the point of not enjoying life? Many people say that they are not happy with what they are doing, but that it will all be worth it for the payoff in the end. Do the ends justify the means? Sure, you can plan for the future, but at what date in the future does the happiness begin? Lately, there have been many billboards put up around Los Angeles that proclaim that May 21, 2011 is the end of the world. This may or may not be true. I personally don’t believe it to be true, but it could be the last day for any of us. We might as well live as if it is.

I’ll finish this blog with the story of Tom’s memorial. A few of Tom’s closest friends organized an ultimate Frisbee extravaganza memorial. After church I got a ride to the North Hollywood Park to find games in full swing. Tom’s friends were grilling, having some drinks, laughing, and making new friends. It was estimated that over 70 people showed up throughout the day,and this wasn’t even planned until [a few days before]. It was a great day of enjoying life. They had a box of some of Tom’s things, like dvds, books, and posters, that they wanted people to go through and take, to enjoy and think of Tom while they do. Overall it was just a great celebration of his life. I’m sure Tom would have had an incredible time if he were there. At the end of the night somebody said that we should have gatherings like this more often. I thought that the comment was very true. It shouldn’t take somebody dying, for the rest of us to really live.

An Idea

2011-04-01T18:16:00.000-07:00

You pass it off as a small thing, but it's anything but that.

Yeast, too, is a "small thing," but it works its way

through a whole batch of bread dough pretty fast.

So get rid of this "yeast." - 1 Corinthians 5:6, The Message

Last Wednesday, two speakers from Homeboy Industries visited La Casa de la Comunidad. These men shared their lives, both past and present, and how the compassion of Homeboy helped them to step away from the patterns of gang life in East Los Angeles. At one point in the presentation, a very poignant line from Father Gregory Boyle's book, Tattoos on the Heart, was referenced:

New Friends from Homeboy Industries meet our neighborhood.

"The wrong idea has taken root in the world. And the idea is this: there just might be lives out there that matter less than other lives."

Indeed. It's not only taken root, it's produced poisonous fruit. It's infested our daily bread. This idea allows us to walk around dirty homeless folks sleeping outside a 7-eleven with no more than a "what-a-lazy-wretch" sneer across our face. This idea is the seed of the notion, "this side of the tracks, that side of the tracks." This is the idea that allows slavery, inhumane treatment of prisoners, allows us to look at people as problems, issues, statistics in a world population explosion, and not, as we all were intended to be seen: as the image of God.

One of the Homeboys spoke quite eloquently about the internal damage an idea like this causes. He said that he had no problem with people calling him a monster, a f*!&-up, a no-good menace to society. He believed himself to be all those things. But call him worthy of kindness, call him useful and helpful, call him beautiful even, well, his entire body rejected it, like an allergic reaction. He said, at first, he would become so angry with a compliment that he would retaliate and work to regain the more comfortable status of being a "low-life." The idea manifested in our sense of self, maintaining the lie that we can lose God's affection and can't hope of winning it back. Or, more to the truth, can't believe that we never lost it in the first place.

Dwellers, Neighbors, and friends from Oasis came out.

What if being a "Christian" was, at the very core, simply about waging war with this idea? I looked around that evening at all the faces listening, together, in kinship. From different backgrounds, sure, but a gathering of people responding to the gritty truth of God's desire for restoration, as poured through these two former gang members.

I've been following the blog of an incoming Dweller, Ben Adam, who will arrive this fall. This quote is part of a larger work of his on the politics of the Resurrection, but I found myself feeling the resonance of it during the Homeboys' talk: "The Jesus movement, unlike Marxism or the Cuban Revolution, did not seek to make a poor person into a rich monarch. It was a movement that believed G-d was bringing down the powerful and raising up the powerless so that they could meet in the middle as equals." Meeting in the middle. It's the heart of what we're attempting here in Hollywood. God-willing, bridges of understanding, equality, and a kinship that only God could create, can continue to be built and nurtured.

I turned and looked at our current Dwellers. I thought about some of the ideas they are starting to share, starting to blog about. I'll leave you to ponder them, and I pray you are blessed in the thinking:

"God has called us to be present: to love His people as much as we possibly can, despite who they are or where they come from." - Alex

"I think that we all feel deficient, not just when standing in front of God but in many of our relationships, and that we all spend far too much time working to hide these deficiencies instead of handing them completely over to the One." - Robert

"Whether or not he stays does not detract from the fact that we cared enough to keep visiting him, find him help when he asked, and will continue to work with him, no matter the outcome of rehab. He knows we care about him." - Alayna

"I started thinking about how many people are truly involved in this process of volunteerism. This is not a one-man show. If I had to list everyone involved in the process, I know that it would take up pages in very small font." - Josh

"It's also hard for me to see what good a system is if it can only help some, but not all. I even get angry that people have to be homeless or that there's such a thing as homelessness." - Brady

"Help [homeless people] feel not invisible as they have been walked [over] by so many people ignoring them. We are all the same in Christ." - Kyle

May God meet you in your middle today. Thanks for reading. - Matthew

"He knocked tyrants off their high horses, pulled victims out of the mud."
- Luke 1:52, The Message

God With a Hairbrush

2011-03-15T13:26:00.000-07:00

Dwellers Alayna, Alex, and Brady at a YoungLife Gala

One of my favorite books in high school was A Yellow Raft in Blue Water, by Michael Dorris. It’s a story told by three native American women: a daughter, her mother, and her great aunt, and the three different perspectives are woven together in a narrative braid. Thematically, it draws from the struggles of modern native Americans, what it means to be a woman, what it means to overcome addictions, and how we pass over our lives to those we love. This week, I witnessed the amazing way God is braiding the lives of us followers together, in powerful and surprising ways.

This story, though, has four women: two of our Dwellers, Alex and Alayna, a homeless young mother who I’ll call Andrea, and a teenage Discover participant who I’ll call Alice.

Not long after arriving from Plum, Pennsylvania, Alex was walking into the Hollywood Trader Joe’s and saw Andrea sitting outside with a sign that read, “pregnant hungry homeless.” Alex hadn’t had much experience yet with the homeless, but felt compelled to reach out. She sat down and talked to Andrea for awhile, exchanging phone numbers, and Alex offered to help with calling assistance agencies. About a week later, the two met for pupusas and Alex got to meet Andrea's husband, Jake. Time flew, and Alex realized she needed to be getting along to her Bible study, but something tugged at her to invite Andrea and Jake. Much to her surprise, they decided to join her.

So began Andrea’s part of this story. She was 6 months pregnant, and she and her husband were currently homeless. Originally from the Midwest, they were struggling to get their lives stable before the baby would be born. Andrea’s greatest fear, understandably so, was that the baby would be taken from her as a ward of the State if she and Jake were unable to find a good place and good work. That night, at the Bible study, they were welcomed and embraced, and when the couple ran out of a money a few days later, the Bible study pooled enough money together to cover the cost of a hotel room for a full week.

It was great, but obviously only temporary. Andrea and Jake also started to visit the 5846 Gregory community, and Alex’s roommate and fellow Dweller, Alayna, from Pierre, South Dakota, got to know them. She was becoming aware of programs through PATH Achieve Glendale, her agency placement, that might be able to help the young couple when the hotel room funds dried up. It took time, and patience, as Alayna was new to all of this herself. But everything would eventually line up, and Andrea, Jake, and their new little one are now staying at the shelter in Glendale as they work towards self-sufficiency, together.

When Alice first showed up at 5846 Gregory last Sunday evening, it was clear she was highly clever with an off-beat sense of humor, the first to chime in during group discussions. Alice came as a Discover participant from one of our most regular partnerships, a school in Arizona for troubled teenage girls. This school is not specifically Christian, so the leaders ask us to be sensitive to the girls' diversity of faith backgrounds and not lead our Scripture-based lessons. We accommodate, and pray that God will still use us in just the right way. Alice was always a jokester, always the first with a snappy quip in any situation, yet seemed to carry something quite heavy, as if the sarcasm was a defense mechanism.

After a week of service learning and hearing testimonies of homeless folks and former gang members, Alice opened up during our Thursday night closing discussion. As it turns out, Alice and her classmates had served at PATH Achieve Glendale that very day, and actually met Andrea and Jake. As Alice is recounting her story, she suddenly wells up with tears and the room goes silent. When she gathers herself, a full minute later, she explains that she always thought babies were gross, booger-y and stinky, and vowed to herself to never, “reproduce.” And yet, that day at the shelter, Alice was overwhelmed with a desire to hold Andrea and Jake’s baby, still quite small at 2 months old. Alice was struck by the strength of emotion as she held this baby, and after a few moments, Andrea quietly looked up at Alice and said, “you will make an incredible mother someday.”

Alice admits that, for the first time, she actually believes it, no longer afraid of babies, and still wiping tears away, feels like she’d truly like to become a mother. And then, later that night, Alice writes DOOR a note in response to a general question asking if she experienced hope while here in Los Angeles. She writes, “I lost faith in God a long, long time ago. In a nutshell, it’s back and ready for action!”

Before saying goodbye to our friends from Arizona

Alex didn’t know her actions would affect Alice. Alayna didn’t know if she’d be able to get Andrea into the shelter. But working to live more like Jesus, to step out in faith while depending more on God, an overlap and peaceful interconnectedness can occur, much like braiding hair. God can take all that is messy, all that is tangled, all that we’d wish to hide under a hat or somewhere even darker, and make something lovely. Alice also had no idea how much her revelation would affect her classmates, affect her teachers, affect me. But God did. God does. Amen. - Matthew Schmitt

Finding Space, by Robert

2011-03-05T22:50:00.000-08:00

God saw everything that he had made, and indeed, it was very good. -Genesis 1:31

Finding solitude in Los Angeles can be difficult. But, it is certainly necessary.

Here, there is a deluge of media. Everybody wants your attention and, more importantly, your dollars. I spend a good portion of my time riding shotgun in a minivan scouring the streets for people experiencing homelessness. An unfortunate side effect of this isbillboards. It's very common to see between five and eight thousand large, bold, scandalous advertisements at each of the intersections of Hollywood and Vine and Hollywood and Highland, and more in a short stretch heading east out of West Hollywood on the Sunset Strip. These aren't the only locations. There are advertisements on the sides of buses, on bus benches, on cars, painted on buildings, and on all the major roadways; there are men handing out fliers on the boulevard, painted helicopters flying stuntmen along the beach, and I've even watched skywriting off my back porch. In Los Angeles, in Hollywood, everyone is trying to get you to look at them.

And, unlike home, these billboards and screaming advertisements aren't to tell you there's a Wendy's on the right at exit 60 or for JR's Cigar World in Burlington. No, most likely these billboards are suggesting that you watch this movie, that television show, or buy this shirt that that model is barely wearing. Or, they're screaming 'Diets don't work, call 1-800-GET-THIN and get LAP-BAND today!' More recently, they are love letters from Ken begging to get the passion back with Barbie.

It's a culture where your barista and your burger flipper know they're better than you and let their attitudes show it. Everyone is busy, on the go, trying to figure out how they can use anyone else to get a step up the ladder, and they're either in 'the business' or trying to get into it. Or, at least, that's the way it often seems.

Finding refuge, finding time to spend with God is vital and it's hard. This was highlighted by a solitude retreat that my housemates and I went on at the end of January. We went together to a monastery of Benedictine Monks in the desert an hour or so north of Los Angeles and spent the day in silence and mostly apart from each other. Admittedly, I spent a fair amount of time reading Mark Twain's autobiography (Volume One) and a long hour or two napping, but at the end of the day I was in a place where I felt ready to hear God speak (and wishing that the day would last just a little longer). Perhaps the most impacting part of the day was during the time I spent creeping through the dusty hills along a path constructed to take you through Christ's journey to Calvary and resurrection. Towards the end of this path, there is a cross erected in a clearing about halfway up a hill overlooking the abbey with a statue of Jesus, crafted with pieces of twisted metal, nailed to it. There, I sat for an hour or so watching the sun settle on the horizon and mulling over my life. It is times like these, times of silence and in the beauty of God's creation, where I tend to see how God has worked in my life in both the hard and the easy times.

So, how to find this in the city? I have taken to riding my bicycle. When I was in high school, I used to ride my bike around Odell School Road and through the pasture, among other places. But, since the accident, I stopped riding. When I moved to Hollywood in September, I saw that, without a car, cycling would be the most convenient mode of transportation. So, I taught myself to ride again in a span of about 30 minutes spread over two afternoons. I quickly realized that I would need a bigger bicycle than was already available at the house (after all, my legs are pretty long), so I went out and purchased a beautiful twenty-one speed cream colored hybrid (hybrid in the sense that it's sort of a merging between a road bike and a mountain bike) and I've been using it to piddle around town ever since.

Since January, I have made it a goal to bike to Malibu which is about a 65 mile round trip, so the past few weekends, I've been building up my endurance with 30 to 40 mile rides with some scenic stopovers scheduled in. This past Monday I did a 30 mile loop past Runyon Canyon (a popular hiking spot) taking Mulholland Scenic Highway through the hills before drifting down the north side of the hills into North Hollywood and rounding back home through Griffith Park.

It's a pretty amazing ride. Mulholland is above the stop-and-go of LA and provides a beautiful view over the sprawl and of the distant mountains. Going into North Hollywood was a blast. I took Coldwater Canyon down the hill. It's a steep road with a number of sharp curves and it was so thrilling to come down it as fast I felt safe. I started laughing about halfway down the hill and for a solid 10 minutes afterward. I am so grateful for that, just a silly hill and two wheels to coast on. I felt...on top of the world...and we all know Who likes to sit up there.

PrayersBe thankful today. Be thankful for God, his love, and his creation of this universe in its vastness and in its specificity.

Our Civil Rights Movement

2011-02-18T16:55:00.000-08:00

President Obama addresses the gathering.

Last weekend, I had the pleasure of flying to Washington, D.C., to attend the Teach For America 20^th Anniversary Summit. Teach For America is the national teaching corps, dedicated to ensuring the day that all children in American have the opportunity to receive an excellent education. I taught 6^th grade Language Arts in New Orleans about a decade ago, in a school that has since been obliterated by Katrina’s aftermath. TFA is passionate about closing the achievement gap so that, no matter what income bracket a child grows up within, they can have the same life prospects as their peers nationwide. 11,000 people congested the public transit of our capital, and it was a great time of reconnection and re-invigoration.

If there was a thread wound throughout the entire conference weekend, it was the rally cry that educational equity IS the civil rights movement of our generation, and in order to push for transformational change, we need to embrace this notion. As I'm no longer a classroom teacher, nor am I working directly in education, I admit, I was beginning to feel somewhat sidelined within the Teach For America mission. In my role as Director of DOOR Hollywood, I'm always drawing upon skills and values I learned during my service in TFA, as we invite and create experiences that others might "See the Face of God in the City." We are an asset-based mission, working to set up situations of mutuality and real respect across class, racial, and cultural lines. We dismantle the notion that benevolent upper class folks are the only people who can "help," and that poor folks living in the city are the only people who "need." Surely, my experience teaching in urban New Orleans has left an indelible impression on me that is paramount to my ability to convey these messages with integrity and authenticity. But that's only the start, and it's only peripherally connected to TFA's primary mission.

Secretary of Education, Arne Duncan, keynotes the closing.

Then, amidst many other provocative ideas, I caught hold of a gem in the “Faith in Action” breakout session moderated by Joshua Dubois, Executive Director of the White House’s Office for Faith-Based and Neighborhood Partnerships. An excitingly dynamic panel shared ways that their particular faith was leading them to serious involvement in closing the academic achievement gap. And right towards the closing of the session, one statement hit me directly in the gut: "no civil rights movement has ever gained true momentum without widespread support from churches, synagogues, and other communities of faith."

The Reverend Martin Luther King, Jr., was invoked in many of the sessions and speeches, leading my thoughts to perhaps the most memorable image of his famous "dream" speech: children of all colors, races, and backgrounds walking hand in hand. Presumably, as equals. Equal opportunities, equal roles to play in the success of our nation, equal importance in the eyes of one another. This is freedom, this is what it ought to mean to live in America. We are not there, not when schools still look so segregated and academic achievement still looks so white, but this summit reminded me that we can be. We absolutely must work to get there. So what will I do? I'll remember that my faith teaches me to fight for social justice, and I will pray, support those in the classroom, and "not-shut-up" about this movement in my church and the communities where I live and work. Not until this flame turns into a bonfire, and maybe not until that bonfire turns into the afterglow we're all hoping and working for.

Reconsidering Success, by Alex

2011-01-28T12:45:00.000-08:00

At Homeboy Industries during Dwell Orientation, 2010

God doesn’t care as much about the “job description” as much as the attitude towards the work. God has called us to be present; to love His people as much as we possibly can, despite who they are or where they come from.

I have been reading a book called Tattoos on the Heart by Father Gregory Boyle. It is an incredible book (I strongly recommend it for anyone). This book is a collection of stories told by a man who has devoted his life to loving people our population often declares unlovable. The tattooed, the drug addicts, the incarcerated, the gang members… he walks alongside them all as they struggle to find their way. Towards the end of the book is a chapter titled Success. I have pulled a brief excerpt from the beginning of the chapter.

…This work has taught me that God has greater comfort in inverting categories than I do. What is success and what is failure? What is good and what is bad? Setback or progress? Great Stock these days is placed in evidence based outcomes. People … want to know if what you do “works."

Salivating for success keeps you from being truly faithful, keeps you from seeing whoever’s sitting in front of you. Embracing a strategy and an approach you can believe in is sometimes the best you can do on any given day. If you surrender your need for results and outcomes, success becomes God’s business.

-Father Gregory Boyle, Tattoos on the Heart

Don’t worry mom. This doesn’t mean that I will surrender all plans for graduate school in favor of spending my days sitting on street corners. This simply means that I need to go through everyday focusing first on serving God and loving those around me as He would.

From Kenya to Hollywood, by Josh

2011-01-21T09:54:00.000-08:00

Six months ago, [during my year in Kenya], it was a 45 minute walk to the nearest town; now I can get to five different pawn shops in less than a ten minute walk. Six months ago I was watching bootleg screener movies that I could buy for twenty cents a pop; now I live a stone's throw from where some of these same ones were filmed. Six months ago the toughest food decision was, what can we cook with tomato and onion sauce; now its which of the 500 grocery stores or fast-food chains do I want to buy from. Six months ago I could go outside and hear only the birds and wind; today I fall asleep to the lullabies of ghetto birds(police helicopters) and angry Chihuahuas. Six months ago I lived in a land where a person would give one of his last dollars to another in need; today I live in a county that has upwards of 80,000 persons without a constant roof under which to sleep. (As well as over 262,000 millionaires.) Six months ago I knew high school students who said that they would die to live in the America; today I live in a city where they do. I felt like Kenya was a land of optimists. Things may be bad now, but we have it better than some, and tomorrow will be better. If you focused on the hardships, you would drown in the questions of "Why us?" Today I feel like I live in a land of entitlement. "I deserve this even though I have done nothing to deserve it." "I have so many resources available to me, but I will ignore them and complain about how I deserve a better life." In short; much of the world has little and can make the most of it, yet another portion of humanity has much and turns it into so little. This culture shift has really been playing with my mind lately.

Everything is West of Here?

2011-01-14T01:25:00.000-08:00

"But seek first God's kingdom and God's righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well." Matthew 6:33- NIV

This week, the Dwellers and I went on a silent prayer walk down Hollywood Boulevard. We started at the Kodak Theater, walked slowly eastward past desperate star-tour peddlers ("I ask for half of what all the people on that block charge"), windows with "surgically-augmented" dominatrix-clad mannequins, past wide-eyed tourists looking up at the lights, down at the stars.

Upon reaching the famed Hollywood and Vine corner, one sidewalk-seller says to me, "everything you're looking for is west of here." Of course, she assumed I was a tourist as I'm sure I looked rather aimless. Indeed, I had no real agenda or direction, just observing, praying, listening.

After all, west of that intersection is the Chinese Theater, Michael Jackson's star, El Capitan. There's Hollywood & Highland, the West Coast wanna-be Times Square. Slightly further is ground zero for the Oscar's, where miles of red carpet has rolled over the sidewalks and streets. A bedazzling attraction, where love looks like paparazzi flashes and sounds like the chatter of entertainment reporters. But is that everything I'm looking for?

South of that intersection is Gregory Avenue, a street where everyone knows your name, home of our Dwellers, of la Casa de la Comunidad, a house that leans over to love you, even if you're a teenager who tries to prove yourself unlovable. There's a tree down in that garden which sometimes produces lemons, sometimes limes (it's either grafting, or some cyclical miracle.) North of that intersection is the University of Montana, where 9 college kids decided to sacrifice vacation time and drive down as a Discover group, trekking through snowy mountains to meet and delight in the tales of homeless folks, walk in their shoes for a minute, make use of their hands for greeting and giving and open their hearts for listening and receiving. (More photos here.) East of that intersection is Homeboy Industries, where they hire gangsters & ex-cons to bake cookies and breads, run restaurants, run businesses, encourage their peers, stop bullets with jobs.

Tom and Josh make new friends at Union Rescue Mission on Skid Row.

And east of that intersection is Hollywood Presbyterian Church, where we were headed. That's the spot that God had smacked me upside-the-head when I was seeking rock-star fame, treasure that fades and dims like flash bulbs, dies down like applause. On this prayer walk, at this intersection, a familiar old crossroads feeling swells up. I'm deeply involved in a new search as our home flirts with foreclosure and our nerves fray over discerning what's best for us and our 15-month-old baby girl. I recognize that I've been grasping for security and stability in finances and real-estate. I see how I'm spinning myself into something that can be, sadly, rather unlovable.

Be still. Seek first the Kingdom. It's the same search this time as it was years ago. Only the props are different.

Nothing like one of Emma's home-cooked meals after a long service day.

We continued eastward. I continue to wrestle my focus towards treasure that lasts. I suspect it sounds something like out-of-town college guys laughing when a middle-school girl from the neighborhood schools them in HORSE. I'm hoping it smells like warm chicken tostadas after a day sorting donated winter coats alongside formerly homeless folks for currently homeless children. I know it looks like the smile from my daughter, from my wife, when I walk in the door after this long, hard day.

Thank God that we're designed to encourage and redirect one another, especially when we start losing our way - Matthew

Meeting our new homeless friend RD, hearing about how social media is changing the dialogue on homelessness. She tweets here: Lost Awareness

Help us raise $6,000 before 2011!

2010-11-19T03:38:00.000-08:00

God is alive and well here at DOOR Hollywood and we are certainly thankful! Alayna, Alex, Brady, Josh, Kyle, and Robert are settled in, deeply invested in their work with the homeless as well as the families surrounding 5846 Gregory! (Click on their names for their ongoing blogs!) And we need your help to keep this mission thriving: we currently are paying $12,000 annually in property taxes while we work tirelessly to re-establish our legitimate tax-exempt status with California. All papers are in order and have been for over a year now, but the state is moving slowly. That $12,000 could nearly cover the living expenses of one Dweller for a year, or it could allow us to send 20 local students from low-income families on a week-long service learning trip in Atlanta, Chicago, Denver, Miami, or San Antonio, covering program and travel. Please help while we are in this waiting game, and please pray that we come out from under this requirement soon! Click here to go directly to our credit card donation processing page.

From our sunrise hike this week.

God is alive and well in this city!

Merry Christmas from DOOR Hollywood! Click on any photo to see more of the team in action.

Posada, December 13, 2010

Listening, by Kyle

2010-11-11T22:05:00.000-08:00

My housemate Robert and I were heading to West Hollywood to check out a free movie that I won through a contest. As we were getting there, Robert was telling me about his job on PATH’s homeless outreach team. They offer rides to a hospital if someone is hurt, offer advice, give a bag of food, and let the homeless know that PATH is willing to help them with a 2nd chance at life. Robert brought up something I never thought about. A lot of homeless have lost their self-esteem or lack the courage to seek a job. Why? What if you’d been out on the street for months, or years, and people stare at you as they walk by, never talk to you, and just ignore you. You may feel hopeless and think that if you tried to get a job, that boss would ignore you just like the people on the street. So, one of the things the outreach team does is to meet the homeless and start a conversation with them. The outreach team tries to see the same homeless people a few times every month so that those people know they aren’t forgotten. That may help their hearts to heal, become stronger, and realize that not everybody is the same. LA is a big city and it’s our job not only to help the homeless but spread the word about what we offer to help even more homeless with a 2nd chance at life.

From Kyle's blog: You Will Never Go Where God is Not

Fall Festival!

2010-10-31T21:36:00.000-07:00

Thanks to everyone who came and to everyone who helped with the fall festival yesterday at 5846 Gregory! It was a ton of fun, great new relationships were made, and please pray that they blossom from here on out.

To see more photos, click on either one here.

Blessings, Matthew

Brothers and Sisters

2010-10-19T13:39:00.000-07:00

This is God's Message: Attend to matters of justice. Set things right between people. Rescue victims from their exploiters. Don't take advantage of the homeless, the orphans, the widows. Stop the murdering! – Jeremiah 22:3, The Message

In a world where Glenn Beck has urged Christians to "run as fast as [they] can" from churches who care about social justice while even the Old Testament commands us to “attend to matters of justice”; in a world where some Christians walk alongside those in the margins while other Christians look on declaring judgment and punishment, no wonder the world is confused about Christianity. Seems Christians are confused, too.

Part of my journey involves serving as an improvisational theater and writing workshop leader in several Michigan prisons and detention centers. At the time, this was not about being a Christian, per se, but about my distaste for the way society so readily throws people away. “They’ve committed a crime, so they are getting what they deserve,” is what I heard, what I still hear, all the time. But not much more than that, that’s the end of the story for those of us who don’t live with the unspoken expectation that incarceration is more likely than attending college. So, as a college kid, I got involved with the Prison Creative Arts Project at the University of Michigan. Much to the initial dismay of my family, I was working with men with a life sentence, typically meaning that they had committed some form of murder. Amidst working alongside the men inside to pull together a play about redemption, healing, and forgiveness, drawing from real-life experiences and hope, and putting on a show for fellow inmates and community members, I met a man we’ll call Leroy, a man from Detroit.

Leroy had a booming laugh that you’d feel in your bones, was 6’5”, 300 pounds, and loved to give bear hugs. I’ll admit, my first hug from him, I was a little nervous. He could literally have squeezed the life right out of me. Through the several months we worked together, I came to learn that he was a Vietnam Vet, came back traumatized and over-medicated, got thrown in jail for drug addiction and dealing. After serving his sentence, he was on a type of house arrest for his parole. One night, his sister went into premature labor and had nobody to watch her infant son. She called Leroy, and he hesitated, but thought it would be understood and explainable. Until the unthinkable happened: during that night, someone began to break into his sister’s house, into the bedroom where the baby was sleeping. Leroy reacted, charged at the perpetrator, and startled him so that he fell through the window, off the fire escape, to his death. Now Leroy is in for life: murder while violating terms of his parole. Does Leroy deserve another chance? That’s not my place to judge, though I feel he ought to. (AKA: Should the thousands upon thousands of dollars Michigan is spending to keep him locked up go towards improving schools?) Was it worthwhile to meet with him in the marginalized realm of his “correctional facility?” Absolutely. For so many reasons, including the fact that all along the way, Leroy prayed. For me. He openly prayed that God would touch my heart in good time. And years later when that ultimately occurred, what memory of being embraced and lifted up did I feel? Who’s face would appear in my mind’s eye? Leroy’s. The face of God in the image of Leroy.

In that spirit, when I heard that Professor Buzz Alexander, co-founder of the Prison Creative Arts Project and longtime friend, was coming to LA to promote his new book, Is William Martinez Not Our Brother?, I decided DOOR Hollywood needed to host this event. Last Friday at Mama’s Hot Tamales in MacArthur Park, Buzz read to a diverse audience of about 40 people. During the discussion that followed, incredible questions were raised: Are we any safer as a society for increasing our prison population sevenfold over the past 15 years? Do things like the sex-offender registry actually stop these crimes from re-occurring, or does it allow us to gloss over and ignore the fact that the vast majority of sexual offenses happen within homes, families, and with acquaintances? What does it mean to humanize instead of dehumanize? What should forgiveness really look like? And then, I received a comment from a non-Christian guest, saying that she was so surprised to hear about Christians who care about justice, as opposed to judgment. Her idea of Christianity looked like Bible verses on signs proclaiming hate. Can we blame her?

Current Dweller Alex recently blogged on her experience participating in a walk to raise money for AIDS research: As the walk began we came up against radical Christian protesters holding awful signs declaring things such as “Homo Sex is a Sin” with scripture references of John 3:16, “For God So Loved the World….” I am unsure how this verse of salvation and love supported their message of hatred and exclusion. Why they needed to come and protest a walk raising money to find a cure to a disease that is killing millions of people around the world I do not know or understand. I DO understand the gospel and the light that I have been studying it in. The greatest commandment Jesus gave us was to love God and love our neighbors. Our neighbors are not geographical; our neighbors are all of God’s people; every tribe and every nation. As we walked past the protesters we also walked past the group in their “Jesus Saves” t-shirts. Suddenly I loved these shirts….

Jesus did come to save the world. The World. For everyone. Even people who confuse their need to discern with God’s, and only God’s, power to judge. Even people with AIDS. Even people who hate people with AIDS. Even Glenn Beck. Even you. Even me. All of us, brothers and sisters.

Peace be with you all,

Matthew

First Impressions of Hollywood, from Robert

2010-09-29T17:42:00.000-07:00

Work is interesting. I’m on PATH’s Street Outreach Team based out of Hollywood. Here’s what I tell people when they ask me what exactly it is we do on Outreach:

Basically, we spend our time in the various neighborhoods of Los Angeles looking for the homeless. When we find them, we approach them and talk to them (if they'll let us), meeting them where they are and offering a lunch and, sometimes, a hygiene kit. What we're trying to do is build trust with these people, our clients, with the eventual goal of motivating them to come in off the street to shelter where they can get help.

Now that sounds pretty cool, but it really doesn't encapsulate everything I've experienced in these last two weeks. What it amounts to is that we spend a lot of time riding around in a van looking for people and then looking for parking. But it also means that we spend our time getting ignored and rejected. It means shaking hands with people who don't look clean (because they aren't). It means getting yelled at and hated. It means meeting people who genuinely want help but are fed up with the system. It means joy when dropping off a client at shelter. It means listening to a man in a worn-out wheelchair quote Maya Angelou while talking about the social division that exists between residents of West Hollywood (with an average rent greater than $2200) and the homeless. It means asking a delusional client if he needs any clothes as he eats the baloney sandwich you just gave him across the street from the Beverly Hills Gucci.

It also means sitting in meetings listening to law enforcement speak about homeless as trespassers and criminals, which they may be, though it's difficult to reconcile this image when I spend my days looking into their faces and listening to their stories. After all, where else are they to go besides street corners, park benches and alleyways full of dumpsters?

Did you know that there's an area of central Los Angeles called Skid Row that is widely accepted as the homeless capital of the nation, meaning that there are more homeless per square mile than anywhere else in the country? Even if you have heard of Skid Row, you may not be aware that there is a law in place only in that area of Los Angeles that prevents any person from sleeping in the streets between the hours of 5am and 9pm. Initially, the law was in effect 24 hours a day, but the State's Supreme Court ruled that, without enough beds in the city to shelter the homeless, criminalizing sleeping in public was unconstitutional. Estimates of the Los Angeles county homeless population vary between 48,000 and 90,000. There are 13,000 shelter beds.

Now, I want you to take a second and step off a ledge with me. How many empty bedrooms would you estimate are in Los Angeles? How many are in your own home? What if they all were opened?

So, I don't know. What I'm feeling right now is a lot of frustration with the problem and the systems and locales we're working in. This weekend, Brady and I went to see a movie in Universal City, which is like hyper-Los Angeles. Basically, it's an outdoor mall dedicated to the bright and flashy lights of consumerism (literally, every store advertises with huge neon signs). It's a place teeming with excess and higher prices charged just because, at this place, you're meant to feel like you're somewhere special. I wanted to vomit. I thought about Eddie, fresh from having two stints placed around his heart, still wearing hospital bracelets, heart-beat sensor stuck to his chest, pulling two grocery carts behind his wheelchair that looks to lose its front wheels at any moment.

Prayers

Please pray for the people that my roommates and encounter in our work. And pray (this is a big one) that God can use us and the many other Christians here to change the culture a city that is often blind to its shortcomings. Lastly, let us not forget to pray for ourselves (because I often do), that we may see and hear God everyday.

Every Day a New Adventure, by Alayna

2010-09-17T08:48:00.001-07:00

It’s been a busy orientation week for us. Six of us live in this duplex on Gregory Avenue: Alex and I on the girls’ side and Brady, Josh, Kyle, and Robert on the boys’. We have begun crafting our house covenant, a contract we will all sign that outlines how we agree to live together and hold each other accountable as an intentional Christian community. We have spent some time evaluating the unique spiritual gifts each of us brings to the table. We are learning to value and use our individual strengths.

We have all participated in a morning of service together. We volunteered at Project Angel Food, an organization that prepares and delivers 1,600 meals every day, 365 days per year, for people with terminal illnesses.

We’ve had dinners with several of the past “Dwellers,” the people who have lived in this house on Gregory Avenue in the years before us. It’s been interesting to hear their stories and their advice, to see the lasting relationships that formed from their year here.

One of my favorite field trips from the week was Homeboy Industries and Homegirl Café. Homeboy Industries was started by a pastor who saw firsthand how gangs affected the young men and women and their families in his neighborhood—the violence, prison sentences, and deaths. He saw how difficult it was to get out of that lifestyle once a person was tattooed or had a record. So he began to give them an alternative, paying them out of his own pocket to work for him. I loved the tshirt that our former gang member/tour guide was wearing: “Nothing stops a bullet like a job.” Homeboy Industries has become the largest gang intervention program in the country; it includes Homeboy Bakery, Silkscreen, Maintenace, Merchandise, and Homegirl Café. They provide all sorts of classes, and they can even get their gang tattoos removed for free! I got goosebumps hearing about all the success stories that have come from that place—and it all started with just one man.

Yesterday, I practiced my route to work: bike one mile to the bus stop, put my bike on a rack on the front of the bus, ride 20 minutes, then bike the last couple blocks to my agency. I can already tell that I will have a lot of stories from riding public transportation every day.

So this is my life right now, still in the transition to starting our jobs and neighborhood ministry. It is such an encouragement to hear from home, comments on my first blog, emails and Facebook messages, texts. I’ve been busy so I haven’t gotten to respond to everything, but I just wanted you to know that I do appreciate it. Thank you all for that.

I can’t wait to begin working at my agency and in the neighborhood. More updates to come!

~Alayna

"Hide it under a bushel, No!" or, Blogging Commences

2010-09-09T23:30:00.000-07:00

Here's another way to put it: You're here to be light, bringing out the God-colors in the world. God is not a secret to be kept. We're going public with this, as public as a city on a hill. If I make you light-bearers, you don't think I'm going to hide you under a bucket, do you? I'm putting you on a light stand. Now that I've put you there on a hilltop, on a light stand—shine!- Matthew 5:14-16, The Message

I feel like its going to be a great year (of course I feel that way about every year though.) I am living in a house with five other similar minded young adult volunteers. Our house is located next to Paramount Studios, just a few minutes walk from Hollywood and Vine. It is all quite exciting but also quite whelming. I'm not overwhelmed yet, but I think parts of my brain are. We have gone to the beach once; walked to Grauman's Chinese theater on the walk of fame; prepared meals for a massive operation that gives 1600 meals to people with terminal illnesses every day; and stumbled into a free big name band concert in a music store where we just wanted to buy a CD. - From Josh's blog, Adventurer Friend

I will be working 32 hours a week as a case worker with Alegria. Alegria is a ministry in Hollywood that serves families who were previously homeless and have at least one family member affected by HIV or AIDS. The ministry provides these families with transitional housing, health care, and works to equip these families in the transition back to housed society. 16 families are currently housed in our facilities. I am excited and also intimidated by the work expected of me at the agency. Please keep this ministry in your prayers. - From Alex's blog, Changes

After dinner, Mrs. Kerr asked us to read a part of the chapter in Romans. It was about serving God. Mrs. Kerr asked us what we think about it and what do we accept the hardest will be for us? Each of us told our part. I told the Kerr family that I hope I become closer to God each day and stay on his path and understand his ways, not mine. Then I was trying to tell her the verse of Proverbs 3: 5-6. I didn't even give her a clue and she just said, "Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths." Then I said yes, that is it. - From Kyle's blog, You Will Never Go Where God is Not

We have also begun meeting the kids in the neighborhood as they walk by, curious about the new people at La Casa de la Comunidad. The Community House has a longstanding reputation in the neighborhood as a safe place for the neighborhood kids to come for tutoring and fellowship. They have already been asking when the tutoring will begin again. Alex and I are both anxious to begin work in the community garden as well. I must admit all this work at the Community House is what I’m most excited for. - From Alayna's Blog, the space between

Please pray this week for my fellow YAV's as we spend this week in meditation and worship to help us focus on the journeys that lie before us. Pray for the friends and families we left behind and the new friends we'll make at our sites, and pray for the little things we can all do to make someone's day better. "Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast." -Psalm 139 v7-10. - From Robert's blog, Keepin' On

Welcome Alayna, Alex, Brady, Josh, Kyle, & Robert!

2010-09-03T21:32:00.001-07:00

"God doesn't come and go. God lasts.
He's Creator of all you can see or imagine.
He doesn't get tired out, doesn't pause to catch his breath.
And he knows everything, inside and out.
He energizes those who get tired,
gives fresh strength to dropouts.
For even young people tire and drop out,
young folk in their prime stumble and fall.
But those who wait upon God get fresh strength.
They spread their wings and soar like eagles,
They run and don't get tired,
they walk and don't lag behind." - Isaiah 40:29-31, The Message

Tonight, when I got home from orientation activities, I found my 11-month-old daughter eating beets. In some people's minds, possibly and odd baby food, but she loves them. She studies their deep purple-red, kisses them, offers to share them with you, and delights in the purple stain on her fingers that lingers after she eats slice after slice. I marveled in how beautiful beets actually are: such a rich, deep, and pure color. And after a day filled with excitement, a little stress, and the newness of all that is initiating a new Dwell year, I saw the face of God in my baby's love for beets. And it filled my spirit.

From Indiana, Pennsylvania, South Dakota, Tennessee, and North Carolina, our six new Dwellers came together this week. It is such a swirl of newness, all the excitement of witnessing Los Angeles and Hollywood for the first time, all the intrigue of slowly getting to know the people who God has lined up as the members of an intentional community for, at least, the year. There is something so pure about it all, something so honest, human, and beautiful. And even though reality dictates that as the "rubber hits the road" and the work of the ministries begins, conflict will most certainly arise. My prayer for these six is that they can work to see those conflicts as opportunities, as chances to learn even more deeply who God is and who God can be. My prayer is that they constantly seek the courage to "wait upon God," as the Scripture urges, and that God would infuse them with energy and joy in the struggle and challenges they've been called to this year.

Won't you join me in praying for them? That God would walk alongside each of them every step of the way, and that each one of them and every neighbor they connect with while living here is richly blessed...

Please click on any photo to see more about how the year is coming together and how to connect with any Dweller personally to offer encouragement and requests to learn more about the ways God is being witnessed here on Gregory Avenue and in Hollywood!

Goodbye Will, Kenna, & Alex

2010-08-14T17:22:00.000-07:00

Another Dwell year comes to a close. Thanks to the generosity of the Schiess and Barbour families, we were able to wind down high above San Bernardino. From a year on Gregory Avenue to a goodbye near Lake Gregory and Lake Arrowhead, we celebrated the many ways God moved through and blessed these Dwellers all year.

Time for quiet, rest, reconnection, and praying for the arrivals of Kyle, Robert, Alex, Josh, Alayna, and Brady.

Thank You

2010-07-28T19:41:00.000-07:00

“So if I, the Master and Teacher, washed your feet, you must now wash each other's feet. I've laid down a pattern for you. What I've done, you do.” – John 13:14-15, The Message

A small but mighty group from down the coastline closed our summer out. Poway Incarnational Lutheran Church brought a sense of heart and humor to the mission this week. To see more photos, click above!

Sometimes, if the Spirit moves, we perform a foot-washing to close out a week of service. It struck me last week, that the act is actually humbling on both sides: humbling to kneel down and wash another’s feet, and, humbling to expose your own feet to the person doing the washing. Once again, I am floored by the brilliant majesty of our Creator, especially in the paradoxical wisdom of our Savior. An act that is equally humbling, and in the right mindset and spirit, equally satisfying, for both persons involved could only be divined by God. Wow.

I’m not a numbers person. Ask any participant if I’m good at dividing large groups into 7 smaller ones whilst standing in front of that audience. Ha! I also am not someone who is typically bottom-line oriented, in that I’m not concerned about quantity, especially if the aspect of quality is forgotten. So it’s surprising to me that I find myself drawn to looking at the collection of full-group photos we have over the course of this Discover year, currently moved by the number of faces. But I guess I’m touched by the magnitude of God’s kingdom, in what it looks like to see huddled masses coming together in the name of Christ. While it is satisfying to know that over 7,000 hours of service throughout Los Angeles occurred collectively by all these wonderful folks, I find it is more joyful to recognize the humility that occurs when you observe the groups, altogether, as a collective. Much like foot-washing, we can feel insignificant when we imagine ourselves one in a crowd of many, one small actor in a play of many good works, and yet, when that crowd is woven together through faith and service and love, it feels like a celebration, like being part of a really huge family party.

I’ll close simply with those photos I’ve been looking at. My humble thanks to all of you who graced DOOR Hollywood with your enthusiastic joy, service, and compassion this summer. You have certainly washed our feet. We hope and pray, in line with the pattern Jesus laid out for us, that we did the same for you.

Matthew

Not Good to be Alone

2010-07-22T10:18:00.001-07:00

"The LORD God said, 'It is not good for man to be alone.'" - Genesis 2:18, NIV

For more photos from our Dwell Celebration, click above!

My friends who are in seminary might raise and eyebrow and call me out for eisegesis (inputting my own interpretation, or 'reading into it') with this piece of Scripture, but please bear with me. Yes, I recognize that when God says this in Genesis, it was in reference to Adam needing a direct companion. But that companion would be Eve, and from that union would came children, more children, and eventually, all of society. I think God may have been suggesting more togetherness than even a spouse. With many parables and other Biblical stories that go on to celebrate redemption and reunion, I believe it becomes clear that God is a God who enjoys bringing us together.

For more photos of our latest Discover groups in action, click on any of the photos above.

So it would happen that, this week, we were graced with the infectious joy, enthusiastic service, and vibrant humor of two wonderful Discover groups from Canada, more specifically, from British Columbia and Winnipeg. While volunteering throughout Los Angeles, several small teams generously helped our neighborhood ministry by working on repairs at La Casa de la Comunidad, under Wendy's leadership, and helping to prepare for our Celebrate and Be Celebrated party for all the Dwellers. This gathering would draw together nearly one hundred friends from the neighborhood, supportive mentors and prayer partners, friends from Hollywood Presbyterian Church, Grace Community Church, Reality LA, Silverlake Presbyterian Church, Christian Assembly of Eagle Rock and others, DOOR Hollywood Board members, and Dwellers' co-workers from places like PATH, Salvation Army, and Door Of Hope. While we specifically celebrated the successes of the Dwell team before they start heading back home, the undercurrent was truly a celebration of how God worked through all these amazing servants' hearts. How God delights in bringing people together in the name of Jesus, how God pours out blessings upon those who give of themselves to help build bridges, help bring togetherness, and help encourage one another. Alone, none of this is possible. But in unity.....

Alex joked during his presentation that he felt like he was receiving an Oscar and, thus, scrambling to thank everyone he could think of before the music shooed him off the stage. Hmmm. America, indeed, identifies so strongly as a place to celebrate the overcomer, the lone ranger, the "pull-yourself-up-from-your-own-bootstraps" brand of success. And even in this land of rugged individualism, every Oscar, Emmy, and Grammy acceptance speech; every MVP award ceremony; even every political victory rally all have one thing in common: one person spends most of their allotted time thanking the batallion of others who helped them along the way. "This would not have been possible without your help."

We are designed to need one another. We are designed to work in concert and in unity. What a blessing that is. We don't have to go at it all alone.

And the two pinatas bursting forth with pounds and pounds of candy at the end of the party seemed to be a glimpse of the overwhelming outpouring that is the heart of God.

Please pray for Wendy as she heads back to the Air Force Academy this afternoon. Please pray for safe travels for our new Canadian friends, too!

-Matthew

To find out how to get more involved with our neighborhood ministry, click above.

The Ministry of Zorch

2010-07-15T14:31:00.000-07:00

Let me live that I may praise you,and may your laws sustain me. I have strayed like a lost sheep. Seek your servant,for I have not forgotten your commands.- Psalm 119:175-176, NIV

Photos of Discover participants from Palo Alto, CA and Lakewood, CO. For more photos, click on any one above.

Boundless energy. That is how I heard one of the group leaders describe the combined forces of Palo Alto Presbyterian and Green Mountain Presbyterian Churchs' youth groups, serving and learning together in Hollywood this week. Indeed. And every morning at breakfast, I heard full stories, at lightning speed, about how the week was going. Between bites of Lucky Charms.

So it was that I learned of the game Zorch! It is a favorite of the Palo Altians, and they have taught it to the Green Mountainites. Basically, it involves a very dark room, one person who has a flashlight and must remain stationary at one end, all others stand at the opposite end of the room and must carefully advance forward towards an item. If the person with the flashlight shines the light on you, yells "Zorch!" and your correct name, you must go back to square one. The person who reaches the item first without being Zorched gets to become the new Zorcher.

As I listened to the kids argue about how to best explain the rules and moments from one of their games, I smiled. What intrigued me most was that even though the goal is to not get caught moving forward, recalling moments of being Zorched sounded like it was just as much fun as being the winner. The item they were going after was a Bible (how perfect is that?) Having flashlight's beam shine upon them and hearing the Zorcher call out their name accurately seemed to feel good, too.

So, I started to imagine God as the perfect Zorcher. Isn't that kind of what we're all doing down here, stumbling forward in the dark to find truth, and isn't it exhilarating when we feel God find us? Isn't it like a beam of light cutting through the fear of night? And, in Zorch, when others are found, I imagine that the light also illuminates pieces of the room, making it easier for everyone else to make their way to the Bible. Kind of like when we share our testimonies, when we expose stories about how great God has been to us, doesn't that shed some light of hope for others who overhear it?

Of course, God doesn't guess, God knows our names before even reaching out to us. But being recognized for who we truly are is, I believe, one of our deepest desires. Children of a loving and merciful God. And these energetic and fun-loving kids reminded me of that.

May you feel God's finding of you today, wherever you are as you read this, wherever you go to from here. Be found, and spread the light.

Matthew

Stepping Back to Allow

2010-07-08T15:26:00.000-07:00

"Every part of Scripture is God-breathed and useful one way or another—showing us truth, exposing our rebellion, correcting our mistakes, training us to live God's way. Through the Word we are put together and shaped up for the tasks God has for us." -2 Timothy 3:16, The Message

For more photos from the week, click above

DOOR Hollywood, as with any DOOR City, is very busy in the summer time. We have Discover groups coming in each week, Dwellers coming to the end of a year while others are preparing to embark on theirs, and the neighborhood kids are off from school, looking for fellowship and fun at all hours of the day. It's easy to feel over-stretched, overwhelmed, and over tired!

This passage from 2 Timothy, though, calms me down. When we root ourselves in the Word, really lean up against it as a solid rock, we find that our energy levels are restored to the tasks God has put before us. And, for over-achievers like myself, we can better discern what God is NOT intending us to do by noting where our energy is not present. The beauty here is that, we can step back sometimes and allow others to take part in the action, the growth, and the joy.

LEAP365, from Eastern Mennonite University, on a tour at PATH.

So it would be that this week, fantastically energetic high school and college kids came to serve from the East Coast through a program called LEAP365. They sorted materials, met with and served the homeless, and explored Los Angeles all along the way. Wendy is taking on many of the repair and maintenance projects at the house before she leaves later this month by connecting with members of Hollywood Presbyterian, friends from the neighborhood, and other skilled folks like herself. And our incoming Dwellers: Alex, Josh, Brady, Alayna, Kyle, and Robert are beginning to connect with agencies, sending in resumes and holding phone and Skype conversations with potential supervisors for next year. All this is happening at once, by the grace of God, and when I step back and allow, rather than let my need to be over-involved prevail, I learn just how good our God is, and just how amazing it is to be a part of the body of Christ. Just a part, not a whole.

May God humble and bless you this week as well.

Matthew

Dweller Wendy allows her fix-it gifts to bless both the physical DOOR House as well as fellowship building opportunities with neighborhood kids.

Dwellers 2010-2011: from top left: Kyle, Josh, Alayna, Alex, Brady, and Robert

"I Want to be the Start of a Chain Reaction"

2010-07-02T12:01:00.000-07:00

"No one lights a lamp and then covers it with a washtub or shoves it under the bed. No, you set it up on a lamp stand so those who enter the room can see their way. We're not keeping secrets; we're telling them. We're not hiding things; we're bringing everything out into the open. So be careful that you don't become misers of what you hear. Generosity begets generosity." - Luke 8:16-18, The Message

Eric prepares food at a homeless shelter in Hollywood. For more photos from the week, click on any of the images you see here!

Last night, during our closing worship and discussion, Eric from Walnut Creek Presbyterian Church made a statement that almost got overlooked. We had just completed a 20 minute sharing time, where teens and adults from the Church of Christ of Goshen, Connecticut and Walnut Creek (CA) Presbyterian Church discussed a "rose" (something beautiful from the week), a "thorn" (something annoying or challenging), and a "bud" (a hope for the future.)

Eric raises his hand, right after everyone has shared, and says, "I have one more bud." My first inclination was to keep the evening moving along, because we had many more elements to cover, and so I almost said, "hold your thought until after we're all done." But I didn't, and Eric blossomed this incredible idea, linking a commercial he had seen with the work and experiences they had had this week:

"I want to be the start of a chain reaction of helping others and encouraging people."

Indeed, it touched the entire group. We certainly do need to keep our light out in the open, to brighten the lives and souls of others. I am so blessed to sit back and watch how God allows the service and the outreach to unlock doors, no pun intended, in the hearts and minds of these young people.

To the Goshen Creekinites, or the Walnut Goshians, you have reached out across this huge city called Los Angeles, and from what I see, you're reaching out across the country in new connections with each other. I assure you, the love and joy that you all radiated this week is bright, and inspiring, and fills us with new hope.

Bless you all!

Matthew

Impromptu Worship, God brings it all together!

Working at Project Angel Food

Before saying goodbye....